[this is my life, and it's ending one entry at a time...]


2003-10-02 - 11:33 p.m. - jane's review...

Here's my review from Jane's Blue Reviews, by none other than Jane. As usual, I'll throw my comments and reactions of this review in between and maybe throw in a final statement.

**Jane Reviews...Liquid-Mojo**

"[ liquid-fade v.1.8.3 ]"

*quotable*"If you are an assassin and you want to kill me I would really prefer to die with my eyes open, not that I'm saying I want to die or anything, but just in case, wake my ass up before you pop a silenced cap into my skull." Point taken, Derrick.

  • Nice choice for a quote. Gives the illusion that my diary may be at least halfway interesting... ;)

*jane recommends*: "analysis leads to paralysis", because even though our situations are vastly different, I could relate to this.

  • Ah... the joys of unrequited love. I'm sorry you had to go through something similar Jane, but still, in the "misery loves company" sense it's nice to know that I'm not the only one in this world that has felt that.

*entries read*: I read approximately 50 entries. This includes the August and September entries, along with skipping around in your weblog-style entries. I visited your extras, as well.

  • In my opinion this is one of the trademarks of a good reviewer, to be able to go through a fairly good sample of a diarist's entries. At the very least a reviewer should go through about a month's worth of entries (30+). Reading 50 entries including the extras I think, is going above and beyond the call of duty for a reviewer, an effort which of course I always appreciate when it happens whether the review score is good, mediocre or even a bad one.  

*content* <45/50 points>: This diary is well-written. Not only are you uninhibited when it comes to writing your truths, but you are unapologetic. I have to admire that in a diary. In past reviews, you've either gotten praise or ridicule for your entries that focus on your sexual needs. While I am a good little girl who blushes and feels uncomfortable by some of the more graphic references, I see that you write what you feel. Your diary is the place where you are supposed to do that. It is only human to seek and desire true companionship. We feel similar pangs of loneliness and the need to be loved. I wonder if, beneath your sexual exterior, you are lacking the love in essence, but the sexual drive is a tangible representation of it? Or maybe I am talking out of my ass and you just want some of it. ;) I have to say I enjoyed your diary very much. I'd like to read from beginning to end as I get the opportunity. I was very impressed by all of your vitals links. They allowed me easy access to learn about who you are. Reading this opened my eyes to things I was unaware of. I love the way you honestly examined everything... the fact that you feel on the "fringe of two different cultures" with no true belonging to either one. I am quite out of touch with my own ethnicity, which consists of Cherokee, Spanish, Irish, Welsh, German, and English. I appear to be as white as they come, but my Native American heritage comes from my full-blooded Cherokee great-grandma. I sometimes mourn the fact that I have been lost in the sea of "Caucasian Americanism." I also learned a lot about you from your philosophy and 100 things. I loved this strictly for the "awww" factor. Your sense of humor, your thoughtfulness, your honesty, and your capacity to love comes through in every entry. (Well, maybe not every entry... fuck poetry, as a case in point!) ;p I enjoyed your diary, and you have a true talent for expressing your deepest fears, loves, and desires with a keyboard. Thanks for inviting me to review you. ;)

  • Content, this is where I hope my diary shines the brightest. As much as possible, I do try to put my thoughts into words and into my diary. Within my diary I always try to be as completely honest with myself as possible. When it comes to my with raw and unbridled sexual desires, it sometimes can be a point of repulsion to the more "gentle and refined" minds as reflected in some of my previous reviews. I definitely don't mean to make anyone blush, well OK part of me may get a kick out of it, but it's not my intended purpose to illicit such a reaction.
  • As far as the love vs. sex thing goes, I think I have the potential in me to go either way. When it comes to things like love and sex, I like to do it with intensity. At present however, I have nobody to love, at least in the romantic sense so aside from fond and distant memories, ultimately I have little to talk about in that area. My sexual desire, on the other hand, is always there, it's a very strong driving force within me. It is a force that I am making a conscious effort to keep in check, until such a time when I have a sexual partner to consummate these intense and impulsive desires within. I tried to "Zen" it out, to turn it off, to keep my mind off of it, but somehow my mind and body always seems "gravitate" back to that subject. If I can find some way to channel this energy I am almost convinced that it is one of the keys to making the most profound of connections and perhaps it may even be vital part of my spiritual evolution. At the present point however it's all moot, since sex and love and all that other nice stuff life has to offer seems to be just so distant and unattainable. So yes, I do want love and I do want a deep connection and though I wouldn't go so far as to say you were talking out of your ass, I definitely wouldn't mind getting a piece of it. ;)
  • My ethnicity is a whole different story. It has it's ups and downs. I'd love to say that I'm part of the human race and I'd love to embrace every person of every culture as my brothers and sisters, but unfortunately the world doesn't necessarily work that way. If I just started embracing random people I'll start getting all these weird, reproachful looks. Some may even call the cops on me. It's not pretty, not pretty at all... In the end however my Filipino ethnicity is part of who I am and it's a large part of how most people are going to perceive and act towards me, whether I like it or not.
  • Anyway I'm glad you liked my diary. At first I was wondering why I had gotten a huge 5 point deduction, the biggest of all the deductions, if you liked my content so much. Then I read some of your other reviews. It seems you rarely give perfect scores in terms of content, saving the highest scores for the truest most moving works of art that can be contained within a diary. I can totally respect that notion and the way you maintain the integrity of your own scoring system, not that I don't mind the "better than perfect" scores I have gotten from other reviewers, but I do appreciate that level of integrity. 

*layout* <15/15 points>: Self-designed. This is absolutely the best template I have ever seen. I am usually one to avoid the 'bells and whistles' and stick to simplicity, but it seems that this layout showcases your talent for design. It is easy to navigate, and easy on the eyes. You have so many little surprises, from your sexy dancing lady to your silhouette to your liquid fade... I am very impressed. Great work. Oh, and NO, I don't think it takes away from the content whatsoever. It seems over-the-top... as you can be sometimes!

  • This layout was a labor of love, I spent countless hours on it designing, redesigning, changing and tweaking it over and over again. I tried blending in unique elements, things you would hardly see in other diaries. Some say it enhances, others say it detracts. In the end however I do think it's a reflection of my personality with it's little complexities. I try to take a large amount and make it as simple as possible in an attempt to bring order to chaos.  Perhaps it is yet another reflection of my own life's struggle to do the just that, to tame the "demons" that seem to appear throughout my life. Yes, I can be over the top sometimes and I'm glad you see and relate that through my layout. 

*grammar check* <8/10 points>: I can tell that you use spell check, but you end up replacing the wrong words for the mistakes! I found indented for intended, tenancy for tendency, wan for want, and sign for sigh. Overall, your grammar and spelling are fine.

  • I try to keep my grammar as good and as flowing as possible. Words help create mental images. They help re-create thoughts, feelings and emotions. When used correctly and effectively they can serve as a powerful tool of communication. I should proofread my entries a little better as the spell checker is not grammatically perfect but alas time is usually a commodity I always seem to be short of as of late. Kudos on catching all those errors though. I suppose I have to work on making my writing style more dazzling so most people, even ones as through as you, don't catch those little errors. ;)

*contact* <5/5 points> Guestmap, guestbook, email, notes, aim, AND comments.

  • You would think I have a stalker by now with my stalk-ability factor, but Nooooooo... *sigh* ;)

*updates* <4/5 points> You skip days, but you have multiples.

  • I wish I had the time to write whenever the whim hits me. That would be so perfect, because I have so much in my mind that I want to let out into my diary, but unfortunately time has not been friendly to me as of late...

*oops!* <4/5 points> You have some boxes with little red x's where graphics should be in some entries.

  • Ugh, I have this list of things I've been meaning to clean up in this diary, but I may just wind up deleting the offending entries...

*will jane come back?* <5/5 points> Yes. I certainly will.

  • Yes, do come back now... ;)

*extras* <5/5 points> Links to your readers, your favorites, about me, ethnicity, 100 things, philosophy, liquid-mojo, planetderrick, reviews, quizzes, quotations and a lot more!

*bonus*: <+3>, because your layout and your rawness make a great diaryland experience!

  • Why thank you, I do try to maintain a raw, sushi-like quality in my diary with a dash of wasabi for that extra kick... ;)

**TOTAL: <94/100 points>**

Quick comments: Derrick- If I am ever up in Chicago, I'll get ahold of you. We both love Grey Goose. ;) -Jane

  • Yes, come to Chicago and get a hold of me as figuratively or as literally as you see fit. I'll make sure the Grey Goose is flowing... ;)

http://jane-reviews.diaryland.com/liquidmojo.html

Final thoughts: OK, I have to make a slight confession here, I mean aside from me being a "review whore" which I believe I have already admitted to being. =p Although I do make the occasional random review request by reviewers unknown to me, if I see a diarist whom I admire that also happens to do diary reviews, I usually jump at the chance to get reviewed by that person. I figure nobody is consciously going to walk straight into a spider's web. They may walk up to it, perhaps tug at one of it's silky strands, but they never go deep enough to get caught and tangled up in it. I figure in a roundabout sort of way by requesting a review, I get to lure a beautiful butterfly deep into my "web" so to speak. 

Jane is definitely not an exception to this notion. You only have to go through a few of her entries to learn that her capacity to love is just phenomenal. I know that in my haphazard stumbling in this journey called life I know that should I ever happen upon a woman who can love like this and have her enter my life, I know that I would never have to look any other place for love. I also know somewhere inside me just by seeing the things that she longs for, I know I can make a woman like this happy, I know I can make her feel safe and secure and especially loved. 

Now why I don't know such women in "real life" I have no idea. Perhaps I'm undeserving of this caliber of female. Perhaps after I've jumped through enough of life's flaming hoops, I will have earned a chance. Still, it's good to know women like this exist. It gives me hope, that all is not lost in my life. That there are women out there that are worth having, without the misery, the disappointment and the heartbreak that seems to always seems to plague my life. That is all I have to say about that...


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