2003-09-07 - 10:58 a.m. - i am derrick's total lack of game...
OK, so I had a cool time last night. Got my drink on, got my dance on and
scored a moderate buzz. It wasn't pretty at first though. My biochemistry was
all screwed up, even before I started drinking I had mild heartburn. I mixed
myself some Red Bull and Vodka to get a pre buzz and it just made it worse. I
had a few Rolaids in the car, so I chewed some down and the heartburn went away.
Then I started drinking the open bar drinks loaded with the cheap kerosene
vodka. After the 6th round my stomach was on fire again. Thank fucking god Mack
(yes that's his name), the bathroom attendant had some antacid tablets. I tipped
him a couple of bucks for saving my life, or at least my stomach. After the open
bar switched to cash mode, I started drinking Absolut Citron on the rocks w/ a
twist. It's a lemon flavored premium vodka, a little more watered down than a
straight up martini because of the ice, but at least I wasn't getting raped
price wise and it gave me a nice, even buzz so I wasn't drunkenly bumbling
around like last time.�
The theme of the night was "hot for teacher", so there were a lot
of females in those school girl outfits. No not the kind of nun-like uniforms in
the days of my catholic grade school days *nuh-uh* it was the slutty plaid
micro-miniskirt kind with the shirt tied in the front by a knot so I don't need
to imagine what their bra and panties looks like. There were model chicks from
iCandy dressed in that getup go-go dancing on the pedestals. Quite a few patrons
got into the groove too and showed up with their school-girl outfits. So
naturally my cock was "blinging" like crazy, because it's one of my
fantasies to fuck a girl in one of those cute outfits. Say what you want about
my "pervertitude", but I was seriously deprived sexually bad in
grade-school so I need to make up for lost time. It's not like I'm actually
fucking a chick from grade school now, it's just some fucking fantasy
role-playing... ;)�������
A weird thing happened to me too, I was standing at the bar waiting to place
a drink order and there was a cutie next to me. So she smiled at me and I smiled
back. We exchanged names, found out she was from Houston, TX visiting her
brothers and that she works as a bartender. She was buying a round of shots for
her friends and she asked what I wanted to drink. The experience was weird, but
in a pleasant way because this is the first time that a female, a total stranger
even has ever bought me a drink. I don't know how it is with other people, I'm
sure women, especially ones on the more attractive side have drinks offered to
them all the time but for me, being the first time and all, I was quite
flattered with that gesture. I seriously need to work on my fucking game though
because we should have exchanged numbers or e-mail addys or something. It's like
my mind is too damn slow when it comes to picking up women. I wasn't even that
fucking drunk, It's just me I guess, I'm so fucking pathetic when it comes to
these things. I wish I could step outside myself so I can bitch slap some
fucking sense into me.�
I mean really, I can approach women I don't know, hell some even approach me,
I can introduce myself, I can make them smile, even laugh, I can learn quite a
bit about them but I can never ever seal the deal and get the digits. It's a
fucking huge mental block that I really need to overcome. I don't know why I'm
so fucking worried, I mean this women obviously like me enough to smile and to
talk to me. So what's the big fucking problem? It must be some really weird fear
of rejection or some huge lack of confidence on my part. The balls hanging
between my legs, I need to start fucking using them for once in my life.�
So OK, I'm going to make a declaration. On my next outing I am going to make
it a point to be more aggressive. My specific focus, I need start asking for
numbers. This is an exercise in putting myself out there, I need to step up my
game, take risks. Even if I don't get lucky, I'll just move on to the next
prospect and just keep trying. It doesn't matter if I get rejected, if anything
experiencing enough rejections will help me overcome my fear of it. If I'm
really lucky, I may even find that there are women out there who actually want
to receive me. Weird thought I know, but I'm never going to find out by being so
fucking passive. I think I'm a date-worthy guy and there are women out there
that just don't know this. It's time I start letting them know... ;)
Oh, I submitted a new banner which ran Friday/Saturday I do believe. It
scored 28/1000 clicks, the best so far, but unfortunately I didn't land on
anybody's buddy list. I'll wait until I have about 10 quality banners in my repertoire
then I'll launch a massive banner ad campaign of Leslie-Irene/SquirrelX
magnitude. People are not getting their proper daily allowance of liquid-mojo,
it's about time I start pouring it down their throats beer-bong style. ;)
Anyway, here's the banner in question. The theme is based on the "7 deadly
sins" with my diary being the 8th (and quite possibly worst) deadly sin. =p
It doesn't have a red border around it though, I just placed it there so you
could see the boundary against the black background: