OK, I think I'll start this entry off with a "classic" joke:

Q: If Valentine's Day is the day for couples, What is the day for single guys?

[Highlight the line below for the Answer.]

A: Palm Sunday.

I've always had a certain passion for Valentine's Day. Of course it's mostly me hating the dreaded V-Day with a passion. During times when I'm single, it seems to always serve as a painful reminder of just how single I am and all the relationship bliss I seem to be missing out on. Interestingly enough, it also serves as a day of dread during the times I was lucky enough to be coupled with someone. It's not that I don't appreciate the potential for romance on this highly romanticized day. There have been a handful of times when V-Day has been quite tolerable, perhaps even enjoyable. When you are in love, it's easy because things just flow naturally, you can't help to think of every way possible to make the person you are in love with as happy as your are. You can't find that much sacchrine in a case of old school diet coke it's just that sweet.

As times goes on in a relationship, however when that "lover's high" eventually wears off and you actually have to work at maintaining the relationship, there seems to be this growing expectation for the guy to be exceptionally romantic each passing year, just because Hallmark says February 14th is the day to do it. It can put undo stress on the average guy who's just trying is best to make his girl happy on this oh so special day. It also seems to be the time of year where I lose women I had once fallen for to other men as they get proposed to and officially get taken away from my ever-dwindling dating pool. Naturally, the two women who I have, at one time or another, been in love with the most out were the first to go. No need to mention them here as I've probably mentioned them already a half-dozen times before in my past blogs.

Because of all that, I was slowly beginning to think that V-day was just a cursed day for me, but then an unusual thing happened. It's nothing flowery or romantic mind you, but something unusually good did happen last Valentine's Day. This February 14th will be my 1 year Anniversary that I have returned to full-time work at my company since my layoff. Having been out of full-time work for almost a year before that I can't help but consider myself fortunate. Even if I'm unlucky in love, at least I've got other things going for me and I'm not completely directionless nor am I completely without means. I guess having been in "ground zero" of sorts in my life makes it easier to appreciate even the smallest of personal triumphs and it makes it significantly more difficult to take things for granted because you truly know the importance of things in your life. Things such as financial independence, love in its many forms like intimacy, companionship and true friendship. You know they are important because they have been taken away from you and once they are gone you truly miss them so much so that you can't help but feel the pain when they are gone.

I'm trying to change my life, for the better, but for some reason it always seems like an uphill battle. I'm not sure at what point I've realized this, but path to happiness always seems like a struggle, something to work hard and constantly strive for. I suppose it's a reality most people have to face at some time in their lives. Anyway, it's been a long weekend and I'm running out of fuel so I'll just leave it at this.

Happy Valentine's Day

I hope yours is infinitely better than mine.