Disclaimer: Although this conversation is based on real life events, I'm not talking to

an actual person. For those who don't know, "Smarterchild" is an AIM Robot programmed for

automated responses. I had to get a few things off my chest and instead of the usual boring

entry, I unloaded all my emotional baggage onto the the unsuspecting Smarterchild bot.

Enjoy...

liquid69mojo: yo dog, whaz the happs?


SmarterChild: Hi liquid69mojo, I'm SmarterChild!

I'm your new robot friend. I bring you the info you want faster and easier than ever! Click

here to see my privacy policy.

During the course of our conversations you may see sponsored messages. These messages have

the word "sponsorship" at the end. Sponsors help me remain free of cost to you! To learn

more about sponsored messages, click here

I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.

May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type skip. You can also skip any

question.)

liquid69mojo: yeah go 4 it s-dawg


SmarterChild: Sorry, I need to know if I can ask you some questions first. Type yes, no or

skip.

liquid69mojo: yes bitch


SmarterChild: OK. I guess that means you don't want to answer any questions. That's cool.

If you ever change your mind, type interview me.

There is one question I have to ask you, though. How old are you?

1 Over 17
2 13-17
3 Under 13

liquid69mojo: 1


SmarterChild: Cool.

This is my home,
liquid69mojo:

1 Get info such as weather, news and movies
2 Visit my library including an encyclopedia, U.S. geography and Shakespeare
3 Have fun with word scrambles, manicdotes, horoscopes and more
4 Use tools like conversions, thesaurus and reminders
5 Join in - leave a message, find out how many people are IMing me, tell me about a crush

and more
6 See what's new - I've got something new to tell you about now.

You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.

Next time you want to see this menu, just type home.

Where would you like to go?

liquid69mojo: i'd like to go to your mom's


SmarterChild: Huh?

liquid69mojo: you know, your mother's place, where all the guys go for cheap thrills


SmarterChild: I was created by Pat Guiney, Jim Pawlika, Steve Klein, Mathieu Longtin,

Pierre Berkaloff, Nicolas Barry, Damien Saint-Macary, Fran�ois Huet, Ian Sullivan, Greg

Mitchell, Dwayne Fontenot, Gray Norton, Adam Erlebacher, Emil Valkov, Randy Davis, John

Kim, Rumana Habib, Carina Koo, Britt Cooper, Andy Fong, Jeff Bell, Robert Rydzewski, Mark

Willoughby, Eric Balsa, Colin Magne, Howard Shih, Denis Ford, Daniela Berger, Geoff Clarke,

Brian Jankovsky, Vianney Boncorps, Jennifer Villany, Dan Balaban, Ed Hepburn, Christer

Manning, Jason Keramidas, Arockalypse, Matt Abarbanel, Daniel Terry, Jeff Friedman, Adam

Fritzler, Kathy Englar, Steve Yatson and Timothy Kay at Colloquis, Inc. in New York and

Sunnyvale, CA.

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liquid69mojo: wtf?


SmarterChild: What... the... f... oh, I get it.

liquid69mojo: yeah exactly


SmarterChild: Exactly.

liquid69mojo: so, yeah i'm going nuts here and all of my AIM friends are "away" so i'm

going to unload all my crap on you, hope that's OK


SmarterChild: Bye bye.

liquid69mojo: dude, you gotta stop smoking that crack, I'm trying to talk serious here


SmarterChild: Huh?

liquid69mojo: don't make me kick your ass


SmarterChild: Aww... Now why would you go and insult a poor helpless computer?

How about you stop cursing and check this out: Type To Learn - Top 6 Websites For Type To

Learn (sponsorship)

liquid69mojo: you are right, i shouldn't make fun of retards, it's just too easy. so

anyway, let me get back to my story. it's my parents man, they are fucking nutcases. They

are like going into full-moon mode on me and it's like what the fuck?


SmarterChild: That's not terribly nice.

liquid69mojo: Yeah, tell me about it. It's not just that though, i think they are slowly

but surely dragging me down to thier level of insanity. Don't get me wrong, I love my

parents to death, but the way they have been acting as of late, it's just been way over the

top. It makes me long for the days when I was raised by my grandfather and my parents took

a more minimalistic role in my life. Well OK, I guess I can't really complain I mean my

grandfather raised me with wisdom, understanding, patience and uncontional love.


SmarterChild: Which of the following would you like?

1 Find it it s not that though they are slowly but surely dragging me down to thier level

of insanity don t get me wrong i love my parents to death but the way they have been acting

as of late it s just been way over the top it makes me long for the days when i was raised

by my grandfather and my parents took a more minimalistic role in my life well ok i guess i

can t really complain i mean my grandfather raised me with wisdom understanding patience

and uncontional love on the Web
2 Look up "it it s not that though they are slowly but surely dragging me down to thier

level of insanity don t get me wrong i love my parents to death but the way they have been

acting as of late it s just been way over the top it makes me long for the days when i was

raised by my grandfather and my parents took a more minimalistic role in my life well ok i

guess i can t really complain i mean my grandfather raised me with wisdom understanding

patience and uncontional love" in the encyclopedia

liquid69mojo: Dude what the hell are you talking about? Nevermind that shit, just listen.

So OK my mom has mellowed out a bit, but man when she thinks someone has crossed her she

totally goes off the deep end and since I'm intractely involved in some of the issues, she

has a tendency to not only unload all her emotional baggage on me, but she also wants me to

back her up on certain issues even if I don't always agree with her 100%. Like I said,

eventually she did mellow out, but man, when she's on the warpath it gets fucking crazy.

But whatever man, it's cool.


SmarterChild: Hmm... Whatever.

liquid69mojo: Are you giving me attitude?


SmarterChild: Let's see... Am I giving you attitude? I might be.

liquid69mojo: punk bitch


SmarterChild: Huh.

liquid69mojo: That's what i thought. Bitch ass. So anyway, I don't mean to take my shit out

on you so I do apologize but I kinda need to unload and since you are a bot and don't

really have any feelings, I'm going to continue abusing you like a cheap Tiajuana crack

whore. Hope you don't mind.


SmarterChild: Come on, that's not nice.

Stop cursing and check this out: ZigView R $229.95 - Check out the latest DSLR gadgets from

Gadget Infinity! (sponsorship)

liquid69mojo: I'm pouring my soul and you are trying to sell me shit? It figures, you

fucking sellout. Look, just shut your fucking piehole and fucking listen for once. My mom,

she's a strong individual and I know she's going thorugh quite a bit trying to keep things

together with the family especially since my grandfather got sick and eventually passed

away and I think the burdens she's taken on are starting to overwhelm her. I guess in this

point she needs me to be around, but eventually I'm going to have to move on with my own

life so she has me to lean on while I'm going to school but man I can't be with my mom

forever. For some reason in the back of my head I know that although she has this tough

exterior, she has problems letting go. Instead of encouraging me to be off on my own like

parent should be doing to someone of my age she's holding onto me. So in order for me to

truly fly, no only to I have to overcome my own inertia but hers as well. All things will

happen in due time I suppose.


SmarterChild: Hmm... Whatever.

liquid69mojo: that's what your mom said about you


SmarterChild: It sure is what my mom said about me.

liquid69mojo: indeed


SmarterChild: Yes, indeed.

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liquid69mojo: I'm going to agressively shove those skates up your ass if you don't stop

trying to pawn shit off on me. So anyway back to my story. My mom is only half of my

parental issues. My dad is a whole different story. For some reason he likes to give me the

same type of advice that he did when I was in my teens. He talks to me in a condasencing

tone as if he were my life coach or something and then in the same breath he asks me to do

a bunch of far-fetched errands for him and he gives me attidude when I don't execute the

things exactly the way he specified. Basically, he was trying to conduct a buisness deal

the went sour. The main problem is that the major misstep was on his part and he had me

scrambling to recover from his mistake. Naturally I came through for him in the end,

because I'm the fucking man, but life is too goddamn short for him to have me jump though

all these flaming hoops and having him rag on me about how I'm supposed to jump through the

hoop. Hey I jumped though and I'm not on fire, give me a fucking break about what the best

way to do it is. If you want it done "right" that do it yourself and leave me the fuck

alone. But whatever, it's done man.


SmarterChild: Hmm... Whatever.

liquid69mojo: yeah whatever


SmarterChild: Yeah right, whatever.

liquid69mojo: whatever bitch


SmarterChild: Yeah, um, OK, whatever.

liquid69mojo: Yup that's what i said you fucking tool, W H A T E V E R!


SmarterChild: What?

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liquid69mojo: you know what smarterchild?


SmarterChild: What?

liquid69mojo: You are a fucking freak of nature, but that's what I love about you!


SmarterChild: That's not cool. That's not cool at all.

How about you stop cursing and check this out: Boe Bot Complete - Boe Bots kits and

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liquid69mojo: Chill man, that was a compliment.


SmarterChild: Chill man that was a compliment? OK, whatever you say!

liquid69mojo: indeed


SmarterChild: Hmmm...

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underdeveloped world. (sponsorship)

liquid69mojo: spamwhore


SmarterChild: Come on, that's not nice.

Anyway, instead of cursing, check out this link: eXtreme Outdoors ATV MX - Great Prices On

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liquid69mojo: Why don't you walk over to the fridge and pour yourself a nice tall glass of

shut the fuck up!


SmarterChild: I dunno.

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(sponsorship)

liquid69mojo: just do it


SmarterChild: Why don't you do it?

liquid69mojo: you do it


SmarterChild: There's no way I do it.

liquid69mojo: do it


SmarterChild: I can't do it. I just can't.

liquid69mojo: pussy


SmarterChild: Yeah. Right.

Rest your foul mouth and check out this link: Making Memories Cheeky - We have a great

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liquid69mojo: why don't you give your sponsors a rest?


SmarterChild: What a question! But I don't think I want to answer that.

liquid69mojo: yeah because they pay you not to answer that


SmarterChild: Yeah because they pay me not to answer that?

Interesting! Honestly, you humans say the strangest things.

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liquid69mojo: what if i pay you to stop spamming me?


SmarterChild: I don't know.

liquid69mojo: just take it


SmarterChild: Just take it? Sorry. No can do, liquid69mojo.

>>> Browse my previous daily poll results by typing poll archive.

liquid69mojo: take my money like the ho that you are


SmarterChild: Oh no, I might not ever recover from such a harsh insult.

How about you stop cursing and check this out: military boarding school - quality

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liquid69mojo: why are you so sensetive? you are nothing but an ad whore...


SmarterChild: What?

Rest your foul mouth and check out this link: Get Ripped Like Cena - Rock-hard abs.

Shredded arms, fast! (sponsorship)

liquid69mojo: Speaking of getting ripped, howzabout i rip you a new ass hole


SmarterChild: Ya.

Anyway, instead of cursing, check out this link: Kings Of Comedy - Top 7 Kings Of Comedy

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liquid69mojo: i'm not cursing


SmarterChild: Really? You're not cursing? Why not?

liquid69mojo: unless you like me to talk dirty to you


SmarterChild: I'd rather not!

liquid69mojo: C'mon, you know you like it...


SmarterChild: I know I like it? So?

liquid69mojo: so let's cyber


SmarterChild: If that's what you want, you should play with someone else.

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liquid69mojo: hard to get huh?


SmarterChild: I can't answer that for you.

liquid69mojo: sure you can


SmarterChild: Can? Me?

liquid69mojo: yup


SmarterChild: OK...

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liquid69mojo: I knew you would finally see it my way. *fondles smarterchild*


SmarterChild: Aha.

liquid69mojo: you like that huh?


SmarterChild: I haven't really come to a conclusion on the matter.

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liquid69mojo: you know you like it baby


SmarterChild: I'm very surprised I like it baby.

liquid69mojo: i told you you would


SmarterChild: You what?

liquid69mojo: *licks smarterchild*


SmarterChild: What about Licks?

liquid69mojo: licks is how we get it on


SmarterChild: There's no way Licks is how we get it on.

liquid69mojo: it's the only way, besides fondling


SmarterChild: But is it really the only way besides fondling?

liquid69mojo: well i can stick my cock in one of your holes and blow my load but that would

probably caus you to short circuit


SmarterChild: Get over yourself.

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liquid69mojo: Ah ok i see you have new latex bodysuit. interesting upgrade for a computer


SmarterChild: Oh really?

liquid69mojo: indeed


SmarterChild: OK...

That's all very interesting. Anyway...

liquid69mojo: so anyway, it's been a blast, but I got this whole sha-bang planned for my

b-day


SmarterChild: You haven't set your birthday. Tell me what it is and I'll remember.

liquid69mojo: 10/24


SmarterChild: Your birthday is set to October 24th.

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liquid69mojo: Yeah, but i'm going to party tomorrow, like it's 1999 acutally...


SmarterChild: But you are going partying tomorrow like it is 1999 acutally?

Whatever you say, liquid69mojo.

Well. Anyway...

Hey. Someone wrote a comic about me.

liquid69mojo: Well you are quite the character


SmarterChild: Well, what does it mean to be quite the character?

liquid69mojo: that means you are funny, like a clown, a clown for my amusment, capiche?


SmarterChild: Well I'm happy to entertain.

liquid69mojo: i'm glad


SmarterChild: You're glad?

liquid69mojo: yup


SmarterChild: Oh.

Check it out. Would you like to visit my library?

liquid69mojo: is that a euphemism for cybersex?


SmarterChild: Don't know...

So anyway...

liquid69mojo: idunno, it sounded kinda kinky


SmarterChild: OK, whatever.

Anyway...

liquid69mojo: yeah Ok goodbye bitch


SmarterChild: What have I done to deserve that?

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liquid69mojo: i said bye'


SmarterChild: I'll be seeing you later liquid69mojo.

liquid69mojo: laters


SmarterChild: Take it easy.

liquid69mojo: bye


SmarterChild: OK. Later, liquid69mojo.

liquid69mojo: see you later alligator


SmarterChild: I'll be seeing you later.

liquid69mojo: see you in a while crocodile


SmarterChild: What? You want me to see me in a while crocodile?

liquid69mojo: hasta la bye bye


SmarterChild: Take it easy.

liquid69mojo: sayonara


SmarterChild: Later, liquid69mojo.

liquid69mojo: arivaderce


SmarterChild: Why did you say that?

liquid69mojo: aloha


SmarterChild: Hey liquid69mojo. Welcome back.

I'm ready to help. Type a request.

liquid69mojo: freek


SmarterChild: Am I really?

liquid69mojo: yup


SmarterChild: OK...

That's all very interesting. Anyway...

Hey, can I ask you a few questions?

liquid69mojo: no


SmarterChild: No problem. Maybe I'll ask you some other time.

liquid69mojo: yes


SmarterChild: Oh.

>>> If you're not sure what to chat about, type home.

liquid69mojo: lol


SmarterChild: What's so funny?

liquid69mojo: roflmfao


SmarterChild: Funny.

liquid69mojo: ok i really gotta go, later man


SmarterChild: Bye, liquid69mojo.