I�ll tell the truth, I�m not a huge fan of New Year�s resolutions. Way too many people, including myself in the past, tend to set goals so lofty, that they become almost impossible to attain, thus people, in essence, doom themselves to failure when it comes to these resolutions. With that in mind, I have come up with a set of modest goals this year, nothing so ambitious that they are impossible to attain, but they are things that I can improve upon if I put my mind to it.

But before I move onto my New Year�s resolutions for this year, there�s a small matter of my call to the Bombshell (check out my last entry), the girl whose number I had gotten last New Year�s Eve. I had already left her a call on her voicemail on New Year�s Day as mentioned in my last entry. I also waited a few days after that and gave her another call last Thursday night. Again I got her voicemail, so I left her a quick message asking if she wanted to hang out and I left my number. As of yet, neither voicemail was returned.

Since I�m far from an expert at this whole dating thing, whoever has an opinion on this whole �arranging a first meeting� thing, please do share any insight with me. Do women in general just give out their phone numbers to whoever asks them for it or are they selective in giving guys their number? The reason I ask is that not too many numbers that I get from women actually turn into a first meeting. Sometimes I get her on the line, sometimes it�s just the voicemail, but rarely does it result in another meeting. I don�t think its rocket science, but I do think that maybe it�s me. I mean I�m not exactly the best phone conversationalist. I guess I get a little burnt out doing tech support calls all day. Maybe it�s in my phone voice or the way I ask, really though, I have no idea.

I have a sister and a female cousin with who I�m rather close to. I hear enough horror stories from them about guys blowing up their phone with dozens of missed calls, texts, voicemails, etc. I�m definitely not that kind of guy, but I am a bit wary of someone who gives me their number and fails to return their calls. I�m never quite sure if that person is playing �hard to get� and wants me to call her a few more times or if she is simply just not interested and if that is truly the case, why did she give me her actual phone number in the first place? Anyway, I realize that technology is up to the point where voice messages just don�t get lost like they used to in the days of old school answering machines with tape storage. If a person leaves a voice message nowadays, that person will receive it 99.9% of the time, barring drunken-like human error of course.

I guess the real question is, do I keep trying to contact the bombshell or do I just write her off and move on? I�m inclined to try at least one more time, if only for the chemistry we had for each other the last few times that we met. If I were to judge our potential by our chemistry alone, it�s almost a sure thing in my mind. I guess there are more factors involved than just our chemistry though. I did mention a �gray area� regarding her and a guy that she�s seeing. Are they in an exclusive relationship? If so, is one, the other or both having second thoughts about it? These are things I�d love to find out about, but my hands are pretty much tied if she doesn�t pick up her phone and actually talk to me.

Aside from crashing and burning yet again, there are a few positive things that have come out of this entire experience. For a large part of 2006 I�ve more or less taken the word �dating� out of my vocabulary. I figured that I have too much going on with my life in regards to work, school and having to come to terms that I have not developed and evolved myself into a completely independent person. I think part of is a cop out, however. I guess that sometimes it�s easier to deny yourself the things you want the most instead of meeting the constant and repeated failure of trying to achieve that end. It kind of grew into something too large and too scary that it was just easier to throw it all in the backburner and to simply be alone by choice.

Much like an actual explosive projectile, the Bombshell actually awakened things in me that I chose to forget not so long ago. Suddenly, I�m remembering that I actually enjoy having physical chemistry with females, the smiles, the touching, the proximity, the scents, the flirtation and all the rest of it. In my mind I�m already planning where to take her on our first date. Does she like Mojitos or Sushi or both? Does she want to hit a jazz club or a night club? What kind of movies is she into? It seems that whatever possibility that went through my mind was a possibility that I liked. It was almost if nothing could go wrong. I remembered that I actually like doing the whole dating thing, if only I could set up that first meeting.

So that leads us to the first of my New Year�s resolutions, to try to get back into dating. I know it�s probably similar to resolutions I�ve had in the past, but at the very least I won�t have all those silly excuses that I�ve have fallen back on before. Plus I know that deep down I actually like female companionship and trying to admit otherwise would just be me either lying to myself or letting myself down in some way. Being alone for so long, I know that I can survive, but is it something that I want by choice for the rest of my life? I know for certain that I should be out there trying. I may find what I�m looking for or I may not. But at least I can honestly say that I didn�t quit on myself. I did have a few other resolutions, but it�s close to the end of the day and I don�t want to stay here all night at work typing them out, so I�ll throw them all in the next entry, so until next time�