This blog entry may be a bit TMI, so if you are offended by reading anything remotely sexual, turn away now. This is your first and only warning.

So anyway, it might sound a bit crazy, but I�ve been getting these weird scent hallucinations lately. The scents that I falsely perceive are so vivid and fragrant that it might as well be real. The reason I know they can�t possibly be real however, is that these are the scents related to sex and specifically to orgasm and it happens when I�m fully-clothed, dry and for the most part, when I�m simply minding my own business.

I�ve been trying to figure out what the trigger is for these olfactory hallucinations and as you might have already guessed, it happens when I�m in the proximity of a woman that I�m attracted to. It is as if I smell the scents associated with the sexual act, the salty sweat, the oceanic and somewhat bleach like scent of my semen, the musky, sometimes sweet smell of a woman�s vagina, wet with sexual arousal.

The thing is that not all women I�m attracted to trigger the scent hallucination and for the most part I don�t think it�s solely visually triggered. For example, watching erotic imagery print or on screen by itself won�t trigger it. Although I�m no expert at this sort of thing, I think it may be triggered partially by visual cues and partially by pheromones. That would explain why I experience is some times and not others.

Then again I could just be going crazy. I don�t think hallucinations, even of the olfactory variety, is something commonly experienced by the sane. Then again it could be caused by sensory deprivation. I suppose almost three years without sexual stimuli is a pretty severe form of deprivation. The funny part is I�m not even trying to worry about all that. All I�m trying to do is get my life straightened out by finishing school and focusing on my career and not worry about the whole sex and relationship thing until there�s actually a possibility of it happening for me that�s not just a booty call or me selling myself and someone else short by taking advantage of someone I know I�m not compatible with just for the sex. But then some whacked shit starts happening to my brain and I start inhaling all the sex I�ve been missing out on. What the fuck is that all about?

Don�t get me wrong, I mean I love sex and I look forward to a time when I can engage in the whole sexual thing once again. I�m trying to align myself and my life, to be a little less of a boy and a little more of a man, so I can ultimately focus on getting back into a relationship, or at the very least the pursuit thereof.

It�s not helping that the scent of the sexual act looms around every corner. Although I don�t exactly hate the scent, it�s not exactly a scent I�d purchase as an air freshener or a pack of incense. I�d rather achieve the scent through more direct means, like through really wild sex and not have it sneak up on my when I�m trying to read the paper on my train ride to work. I don�t know, maybe the act of me trying not to think about sex is exactly what is causing sex to be in the forefront of my mind, or at the very least my olfactory system. Maybe I shouldn�t resist the idea of sex so much. I mean it�s not like it�s a bad thing is it?

So anyway, I kind of got suckered into a speed dating thing this weekend. A friend of mine set it up for charity and rolled it up with her birthday party afterward for her non-single friends. I put a �maybe� on the Evite thing and she got back to me in an e-mail and coerced me into a solid �yes�. I�m not sure about the whole speed dating concept, I mean how much can you really know about someone in 3 minutes and more importantly how much of an impression can I make in that short amount of time? I know I�m not much of a smooth talker so, personally, I�m banking on my good looks. I should probably iron my shirt for this one, ya think? =p Plus, I�m not going to put a whole bunch of pressure on myself. My goal is to just go out here and have a good time and just take my recent scent hallucination episodes at face value, and that I should continue putting myself out there despite my perceived level of readiness or lack thereof concerning relationships. Anyway, that�s all I have to write, so until next time...