So OK, I'm a bit hung over though partying the last two nights and defiling myself by way of liquor and tobacco, so I'm in bed recovering and re-hydrating with my new favorite hangover recovery liquid, "revive" Vitamin Water from Glac�au. Vitamin Water in general, for me at least, is more chuggable than Gatorade or Powerade because it is not as sweet, so therefore it just goes down more easily and on top of that it's a bit easier to drink than just plain old water when you don't have actual thirst but need to hydrate anyway, because of the smooth but light flavor. Lastly, it does not taste as heinous as though 0 calorie "flavored" waters like those flavored Dasanis and Aquafinas, I mean those are just nasty tasting, I mean I'd rather have regular bottled water, plain Aquafina is my personal fave of the bottled water brands or if you need flavor, you are a better off getting those single, water bottle serving sized packets of Crystal Light.

But anyway, as a result I'm on a laptop now instead of the iPhone, so I can actually type out a full entry instead of a quickie blog like did with the last two. So anyway, where did I leave off? Oh yeah I was being vague in my last entry. Silly me. So yeah, about the weird dream I woke up from, I actually don't remember too much of it. What I do remember is the moment that I woke up, I was somehow pouring my soul out and complaining to someone, I don't really know who, about my lack of female intimacy situation. It was weird, because I was practically on the verge of tears as I was pouring my soul out and then suddenly I'm waking up half dazed and wondering "what the fuck"?

It's also weird because I don't really make a habit of complaining about things like that to anyone, even to Ray back when he was still alive. But somehow he always seemed to know when I was down, just by looking at my face so I never actually needed to bitch and moan to him about anything and I guess that's part of the beauty of our friendship and of course it is also part of the pain, no longer having someone like that in my life. I realize the chances of finding someone like Ray and developing a friendship like we once had are pretty slim and that all I can really do is try my best to be that friend, like Ray, that helps you carry your burden and offers that shoulder that you can lean on. But I guess that's part of what that dream is about, I go though life like I'm some bad ass loner who doesn't need anyone, completely neglecting my very human need to be intimate and to relate to others and finally it just blows up like some ticking time bomb in one of my dreams.

So anyway, what else was I being vague about? OK, there was the girl I made out with two Saturdays ago. I tried contacting her on and off over the span of the last few weeks, I even broke my own "3 strike" rule in trying to contact her but she has been nothing but iffy about picking up my calls and returning the voice mail I left her. The only thing I could infer from that whole thing, without being negative or making any judgments is that she has been so busy that she really had no chance to return my calls. I sort of semi-confirmed that notion when I sent her a "How've you been? Keeping busy?" text and she responded "Super busy and tired but having lots of fun and you?". I responded to that text but didn't really see or hear from her again until last Friday at "Happy Hour".

I was actually semi-glad to see her face again. I started off with the usual hug and kiss on the cheek, which is pretty much the standard greeting I give to all my female acquaintances. I didn't want to get into it with her about the returning the call thing, nor did I want to hover around her like some lost puppy, so I did my usual "the devil may care" drinking and smoking loner thing. I did wind up talking to her for a bit. She was sort of burnt out from a company outing she attended the night before and she sort of hit her limit, that day at least, after her second beer. As a result, she wound up leaving early so she could get a ride. It more or less confirmed my suspicion that she really has been that busy.

The truth be known, I'm not really full-blown attracted to her. Although she does have a cute face and a slender body, she kind of dresses like a grandma, in the "I wouldn't be surprised if she had the matching granny panties underneath" kind of way in her matching top and cardigan. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, perhaps she dresses like someone in her mid to late 40's, which I'm not saying is bad, but she has a mid 20's body and she shouldn't be afraid to use it. Although I'd rather flog myself with a pair of nunchuckaus than go shopping with a girl, even with my limited fashion expertise, I could probably get her into something that's classy enough for the work environment, but still sexy enough to turn heads. She also needs to work on her posture a bit, I know she's overly conscious about her height and work has been stressing her but she would definitely look sexier and more confident if she just straightened out her shoulders.

In fact, if she hadn't kissed me first, aside from the standard friendship, I probably wouldn't have thought twice about her, which just makes the whole thing all the more confusing for me. I enjoy holding a certain degree of clarity in my life and I don't typically appreciate people who bring me confusion, but on the same token I do like the fact that she helped end my long-standing kisslessness streak. Until other, better alternatives come up, I continue entertaining the notion that something my happen between us again but just not at this exact moment.

As for the ATWgirl, I can only assume she is still in California. I sent her a text but she hasn't responded back to me. I have a theory about her non-responsiveness, but at the moment it's just speculation and I really don't want to make any assumptions at this point. But anyway, there are other things I want to blog about, but I have to go now and do stuff with what's left of this weekend, so until next time...