emptiness has taken it's hold within me,

growing and festering inside me like a plague...

everything is so distant,

everything is such a blur,�

everything seems so out of reach.

when did intimacy become so impossible?

why has love disappeared from my horizon?

have i been dreaming?

am i dead?

i can't be dead,

pain is my reminder

that i am still living this half-life

never truly dead�

yet never truly alive

somebody pinch me

somebody slap me

wake me up

take me out of this misery

this fucking half-life

this life without love,

i don't want it anymore

fuck this

i want to fall and break into a million pieces

better than this living hell

i want to drown

sea of tears, sea of blood

i want to suffocate

strangulation, putrid wind, bag over my head, carbon monoxide inhalation

i want to bleed

open my scars, tear my flesh, run a jagged blade through me

i want to feel

anything except this,

this fucking half-life

this farce, this meaningless charade

fuck life

fuck things that are beautiful

you illusionary slut-bags

fuck people who are beautiful

you filthy walking pieces of deceptive shit

fuck happiness

who needs it?

fuck love

who wants it?

fuck joy

wipe that fucking smile off of your face

fuck peace

let war tear this world asunder and burn us all to ashes

fuck contentment

i'll be forever content when i'm fucking dead

fuck my heart

you fucking judas, stop falling for those fucking cunts before i rip you from my chest

fuck all these things for not being in my life

fuck every woman who has ignored me

what you are too fucking good for me? fuck you...

fuck my cock for ever popping one for them

you just get stiff over any bitch don't you? fucking cock

fuck all who have left me broken

if you are going to wound me why not finish the job and kill me, you half-assed sluts

fuck all who have shown me pain

i have made a reservation for my fist to be in that special place up your ass just for you

you fucking make me sick

go back to your fucking life and continue forgetting about me

fuck me for allowing this to happen

most of all fuck this stupid ass poem...