I visited a friend from one of my classes. She lives right in "boys's town". It was the day of the Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade so she invited a bunch of us to attend the event. We had a spot staked out right along the parade route by the corner where she lived.

She was a great hostess providing margaritias in a couple of large jugs so I scored a nice even buzz. It was hella hot and humid that day but otherwise it was a fun experience.

It seemed to be a little commercialized with many of the majority of the floats sponsored by politcians, corporations and various radio and television stations and even some religious organizations, but suprisingly not very many gay and lesbian groups. It seemed kinda tame to me, but being in broad daylight on a sunday afternoon in a yuppie type neghiborhood I guess it was more or less a family-oriented event.

On the plus side I scored lots of different types of condoms and souvenier type parahanalia, like plastic cups, keychains, stickers etc. I guess corporate sponsorship isn't all that bad. =p

Ok, it's Monday, I meant to go to the gym but I was too damn lazy. I wound up doing a light 30 min jog outside in the heat. I broke a sweat but I think it's more from the humidity than the workout. Still, it's a start I guess.

On the relationship front I had a date with my girl/friend. I think she's really into me. I can kinda by the way she looks and smiles at me. I seem to bring out the "girlishness" in her. It's a contrast from the way she normally carries herself, as a confident, assertive and mature woman.

I know one thing, it's definitely a switch from the way women normally treat me. I tell you I've been feeling like the "invisible man" for what seems like an eternity. I guess being the quiet type has it's disadvantages but it's nice to "break out of my shell" so to speak.

As for me I don't know what I feel yet. I guess I'm a little on guard. I'm trying to take things one day at a time though and at least for now, it's working for me.

Well, not exactly. I've been meaning to this summer but I've just been a plain lazy-assed bastard. Anyhoo, my "routine" starts on Monday, July 1st.

I'm writing this down on my diary so I can slap myself later so I don't have the conveinience of excusing myself due to forgetfulness if I happen to "woose out" on the workout thing. I also get to call myself a worthless bitch which I do in my mind often but in this case, if I fuck up I can tell this to myself out loud.

Isn't self-abuse a great motivator? We'll getting my body to "harden up" and being able to last longer in bed is another significant motivator, but that's beside the point. It's a win-win situation if you ask me. I see self-abuse and self-improvement as two-sides of the same coin. So I'll flip and you call...

*flip* ;)

I apologize to my "audience" or lack thereof for not being frequent with my updates. Among other things it seems lately I've been having an acute case of writer's block. I guess there's been quite a bit on my mind and no easy way to express it in words.

Part of my situation is that I don't know if I'm "growing up" or just plain growing old. I'm guessing a little of both. I don't know, I spent the better part of the past year bitching to myself about my lack of a sex life and then recently, just last Wednesday night, I finally fell out of my sexual slump and "got lucky" with someone. For all practical purposes it was a great night. The dinner was superlative, the company was enjoyable, the conversation was stimulating.

Things were pretty spontaneous that evening. We wound up in her place after dinner and things got really passionate. Don't get me wrong, the sex was really good and I enjoyed rediscovering the intamacy of touching, holding, kissing and of course, intercourse.

I suppose the only thing missing from that evening was that I didn't have an orgasm. I'm not sure if she had one either, I mean she may have faked it. I don't know her well enough yet to distinguish the difference if any. She did seem very eager to please me and she did tell me she enjoyed spending the evening with me, my tongue piercing in particular. I told her I enjoyed as well. She said would really like to do it again and I told her the feeling is mutual. I guess that, if anything is a good sign.

Anyway, I'm not exactly sure why I couldn't orgasm that night. To be honest with myself I am getting older, so I'm not able to keep up physically like I used to. But I think it's a little be more than that. I think I need to be in love for me to completely let go. If that's the case it's going to be a wierd "catch-22" for me.

Because of my past failures in the area of love, I've noticed that I don't fall quite as easily anymore. Part of me misses being on that "rollercoaster" and another part of me is scared to death of it.

At the very least I'm back in the dating game and I'm much more confident in my ability to attract females in a sexual context. Part of me feels evil for thinking this but I really feel like taking this newfound "ability" out into the world and just play and have fun with it. I guess part of me is indeed evil. I mean I want to take my look my smile and my charm at and just use them to get these women who have been ignoring me the better part of my life to finally take notice. We'll see how that goes.

This entry is going to be a long one... I'm stumbling onto a very confusing situation involving my sex life or lack thereof. Bear with me now, because there is an unusual set of circumstances that I'm being confronted with. Let me get a few things out of the way first. I'm horny, really horny and it's been a very long time since I've had any sex.

A lot of it is circumstantial, there really isn't very much time for me to persue a sexual partner especially lately with my work and school. Another big factor is my quietness. Aside from a few occasional feats of boldness, I've never been very forward or agressive in my persuit of females. And another thing I think I've been doing at some partially conscious level is that I've been very picky when it comes to actually deciding what female I actually like, not that I'd actually find the courage to persue her once I've made my selection, but I wonder about what kind of opportunities I may have missed if I had allowed myself to be a little more open minded.

Which leads to my present dilemma or should I say dilemmas. One of them involves an aquaintence I've met on the net. This is one of the most unique interactions I've ever experienced. It's like we can chat with each other and everything seems so natural. There is alot of flirtation and a strong degree of sexual attraction. I like talking to her and I think she likes talking to me. In a way I wish it could be more, like I wish I could see her face or talk to her on the phone. This thing we have together, whatever it may be is just so paradoxical. It's not easy for me to make this kind of connection with someone, and now that I have, there is really little or nothing I could do to change things and perhaps make it better. In fact I feel a little powerless like if I pushed too hard she would just dissapear form my life just as easily as she appeared.

There was a chance, however small, for us to meet when I took a 1 week trip to the east coast. To be fair it was little short notice so I don't really blame her. What got to me was that she wound up meeting some guy the weekend before I left. Again I don't blame her, I mean she's lonely and she has needs and I know exactly how it feels. But sometimes can't help but curse and blame my fate and my circumstances, that I can't be just a little closer or met under a different set of circumstances. I can't help but wonder how things may have been different. And despite everything I wonder why I still care about her the way that I always have. I don't even know if I should consider that part of me a stregnth or a weakness.

I guess I have to really look at things for what they are and accept the fact that there are some things I cannot change no matter how much I would like them to and be. I am happy I had the chance to experience that kind of connection even if those moments are so brief and fleeting I can't say my life is completely void of them.

So anyway I came back from my buisness trip last Friday. It had been a stressful week. There wasn't enough time for me to do everything I was assigned to do so I had to work in some overtime which I may or may not get compensated for due to budgetary constraints. But anyway I'm digressing from the point here.

Last Saturday I met up with a group of friends from one of my classes for a few drinks. Long story short, those of us that stuck around wound up getting pretty buzzed. Towards the end of the night before last call, most of the group had already left. It was me, a woman whom I went to class with and her best friend.

I was talking and flirting with the woman from my class and her best friend was talking with someone she met at the bar. We talked about different things and wound up getting pretty close in proximity to each other which ultimately turned into a makeout session at the bar. Naturally I was pretty aroused.

One thing that was different about her in relation to other women I've experienced was the agressor at least in part. I could tell in some way she liked being in control. She kept asking if I was ok and she kept asking if there was anything I wanted. She was also asking about the tongue ring which she discovered when we were kissing. When she kept asking me all these suggestive questions, some of them in repetition, I could tell how much she wanted my body. I asked her what were her plans for that night and I suggested that we be with each other that evening. She said that her friend was staying over her place that night so she couldn't but she emphasized that she wasn't blowing me off and suggested that we have lunch the next afternoon.

Anyhow, lunch never happened. I left a voicemail on her cell with a message to call me back, but I didn't get a call back from her until later that evening. It turns out she and her best friend wound up staying up all night and early morning when they got home and probably had more drink on top of that which would account for the monster hangover she spent all Sunday recovering from. We wound up setting a date for dinner for Tomorrow night. I guess we'll see how that goes.

That isn't quite the end of the story though. There this another girl from the same class. We used to take the same train ride home and on several occasions I've been listening to her and giving her what little advice about her relationship. It turns out she's married, but contemplating separation and possibly divorce. From what I gather they are ok in terms of friendship, but him being the only man she was ever with has grown curious about what other possibilities are "out there" for her. What suprised me is she actually showed up to the bar last Saturday with her husband. It was interesting to say the least. Anyhow, she's throwing this major vibe at me like she want's me provide her the "experiences" she's looking for. She practically went crazy over the idea of the tongue ring.

All this is new to me. I'm not really sure where to go from here. There are alot of gray areas with my situation and for once I'm faced with multiple opportunities for sex instead of the usual none which is a switch. And despite my horniness I'm still wondering what exactly is the right thing for me to do. I guess life is full of tough choices. I'm going to have to play some of this by ear.

I originally linked a few pics here but then I started to realize that I'm starting to get awfully personal with the info that I'm throwing in this diary and I can't really have anyone I'm aquainted to in "real-life" have access to all my deepest, darkest secrets. It wouldn't take a genius to match the pics up to my face so thus my pics are gone at least for now. =p When I begin feeling truly exhibitionistic I may advertise this journal to people who are close or even not so close to me, but for now I choose anonymity.

I _really_ like the customizability of diaryland. I've been tweaking the appearance of my diary all morning long. As you can tell I've got nothing better to do. =p

Anyhow, I don't know what's up with women nowadays. I'm going to make it a point, at least for now, to stop trying to figure them out. Sometimes I'm not even sure if they know what they want themselves. Oh well...

Holy fuck has it been a busy month for me! I just got through a greuling set of finals two weeks ago and my employer sent me out of town this past week to roll out an upgrade of the desktop PCs in there remote office in Delaware.

The finals were just plain hairy with an exam for my Java Programming class and a final group project for my System Analysis and Design class. A crash study group with some classmates the Satuday before practically saved my grade because I started getting lost with the material after midterms.

And the group project, fuck... It had really gotten down to the wire most of the work being done at the last minute and me putting in the majority of the work for our 4-person team. I had to take 2 days off of work before the due date and one of those days was spent nursing a hangover from the night before when me and a group of classmates celebrated the end of our Java Class after the final. The deadline for that class was Thursday, 6:00pm of finals week and it fell upon me to do most of the revisions, gather everyone else's work, print everything out and submit it to the COmputer Scienc office before it closed at 6:00pm. Long story short I didn't make the deadline. Despite me speeding all the way to the downtown campus like some racecar driver, I missed the deadline by 15 minutes. I made the save by submitting the project via email along with a detailed apologetic excuse to our instructor and submiting the hard-copy to the office the next morning. Naturally I freaked out when I saw the grade for the project posted online. The group got a 100% for project despite the late submission.

So school is finally over, at least for this summer. I'm going to relax, have a good time and hopefully get my "phreek on". I've been fucking horny as hell and I've been neglecting the appendage between my legs and that to me is a travesty that must be resolved immediately. ;)

I guess now is the time for me to say a litte bit about myself.

The screename I picked, liquid-mojo in a way is an idealized version of myself. I'm normally the reserved quiet type, but after a few drinks I turn into this smooth flirtatous guy with lessened inhibitions towards the opposite sex. My drink of choice is Vodka Martini, preferably a premium brand like Grey Goose, shaken till ice cold taken straght up with a twist. In essence it's my "liquid mojo".

As for the mundane aspects of my life, I work full-time as a PC support technican. My department basically sets PCs and software for the rest of the company. I also take classes part-time after work working on my bachelor's degree in e-commerce technology. It's basically computer science with a focus on technologies that allow transaction of information over the internet.

I'm a Scorpio which if you are into astrology means I'm deep and I like sex. Well ok there may be a little more to it than that, but I'll save it for aniother entry. ;) I also consider myself a profound and spritual person. It's no fair trying to convince you of that now so I'll allow what I write in my entries to speak to that effect.

I really like the customizability of Diaryland so I'm probably going to translate some of the things I've learned in class and make my diary look as cool as possible. As far as content goes, it really depends on how my life goes. Writing is one of my passions which unfortunately I don't get to do very much with all this damn school on top of work crap that I've been doing for what seems like an eternity.

I think that being able to throw all my thoughts into a weblog is defintily a way for me to express myself as a person. As for the "cocklog" thing, it's more or less a truth in advertising thing. I'm a guy who's world in one way or another revolves around my cock.

Once upon a time I put up a cocklog on some free site that went under one day. In a way it was like losing my cock which metaphorically speaking is very painful. This is a way of bringing my cock back to life, not that it was dead to begin with. Anyway I seem to be rambling which I do quite often and is usually a sign that I should quit while I'm ahead so I'll do just that. ;)