Hi, it's me again, Derrick. The guy most women treat like the invisible man. Nice of you to stop by and visit. Anyway I had a really interesting train ride into work today. How interesting? Well damn, I'm glad you asked. You see there was this hot blonde passenger reading a magazine and eating a light breakfast. This wasn't just any breakfast, oh no... She was eating a fucking banana and it wasn't so much the fact that she was eating a banana as it was the WAY she was eating it. Now when I eat a banana, I pretty much peel the sucker down and munch it down inside of a minute just like any other snack. She did it differently however, she took her time eating that thing. With every bite she seemed to wrap her lips around the elongated fruit pressing her mouth to a close. Things seemed to go on slow motion. I could sense her using her tongue to mash down the sweet fruit. I wasn't close enough but I swear I could catch the banana scent. She chewed slowly savoring the flavor of each bite then swallowing all of it down her throat. I was fucking mesmerized. I appreciated how she took her time in consuming her fruit and I couldn't help but wonder how she would handle other objects with her mouth, like that rarely used object dangling between my legs. It was almost like fucking torture, but like all good things that finite piece of joy known as a banana was ultimately consumed. God I wish I was that fucking banana. *ahem*

Anyhow, the banana was gone and thus my morning entertainment. All that was left was the peel. The banana and the hot blonde chick were now one. She departed the next couple of stops over. I closed my eyes because despite the earlier visual stimulation it was still way too fucking early in the morning. The train passed a few more stops, people standing up and sitting down, people getting off and on, with the electronic conductor telling passengers about what this stop is, what the next stop is and warning of the closing doors, pretty much all one would expect from their morning train ride.

But then I opened my eyes and another hot blonde chick was sitting almost right in front of me. She was wearing a long skirt with a slit going up the left side. The way she crossed her left leg over her right I could almost see all the way up her skirt. I'm sure my imagination was filling in some of the blanks, but from my vantage point and the way she was sitting, to me it was like staring at the gates of heaven. I think I actually saw a beam of light coming out from under her skirt. I mean was I imagining things? Holy Fuck!

I read in someone's guestbook that there should be a "moral" to every story. Now I should be the last person anyone should consult with on morality, but I thought hey, why not try something new. So here is the moral of the story if you are female living in Chicago and you are taking the train in the morning and you see somebody that looks like Derrick sitting across from you, do NOT eat a banana like you were sucking a man's cock. Also if you are wearing a skirt and sitting across from a Derrick-like guy, just get up and slowly walk to the furthest available seat. Move to the next train car if you have to. You see Derrick hasn't had sex for ages, he can't handle it being bombarded by your sexiness and he WILL write about it in his online diary for the world to see. Spank you very much and have a nice day...