First thing is first, Happy Birthday to my sister. She just turned 14 today. My how time just flies...� O.o

Anyway, we went out yesterday afternoon with Mom, sis, and my sister's friend for her birthday because her dad is going to take her out today for a separate set of festivities.� We went out on a shopping spree so she could pick out what she wanted (and needed for back-to-school) for her birthday. I picked up a few things for myself as well. Yes I couldn't resist and just be a shopping spectator. =p I got a button-down polo shirt for myself at Banana Republic, a silver chain and matching bracelet because my wardrobe is plain and was in serious need of some "bling-bling". I also got quite a few t-shirts for jogging/working out.�

My sister picked out a BUNCH of stuff, which was cool because I told her "sky's the limit". We hit several different stores / department stores in Old Orchard Mall, Bloomingdale's, Marshall Fields, etc. We hit Barnes & Noble for a few books and Starbucks. I finally picked up my copy of the Fight Club paperback. There were some major cuties were out in the mall today so my radar was going off like crazy. With it being a outdoor mall in the summer, we had some major skin going in that mall. Lord have fucking mercy. *ahem*

Finally we went to the strip mall next door for Old Navy and Marshall's.�My mom almost drove my sister to tears with guilt over her final purchase in Old Navy. Mom said my sister could not have everything that she picked out, even though she really, really wanted every piece that she picked out, and she chose, so carefully I might add, that she made sure each was a sale item. Still, she was telling her to give up something. Apparently she previously imposed a "limit" on her spending. I told my mom, that it's her birthday the sky is the limit to which she jokingly said "I am the sky". But yes, my mom has a tendency towards frugality and I guess she instinctively imposes that principle towards her children, even one as grown as myself. She was eventually able to calm down and bite her tongue enough to allow the purchase of all the items when she saw my sister going into tears. I guess she realized that it was indeed her birthday and she really doesn't get to do this very often. The situation was further alleviated when the person at the checkout offered a 20% discount on the entire purchase if we opened and Old Navy charge account, so I filled out the application, got approved, received 20% off the entire purchase, and that pretty much brought everything back into the pre-imposed spending limit my mom had set previously. I guess everyone turned out happy. I should have gotten WAY more stuff though since that 20% was a one shot deal, but I figured I shouldn't push it because they my wind up hitting me with a greater than 20% finance charge when I get the final bill with sort of defeats the purpose saving on such a huge purchase...��

Anyway, a really unusual thing happened while we were waiting in the checkout line at the Old Navy to ring up our purchases. All of a sudden I hear this super-high-pitched screaming type crying behind me. I turned around and saw the cutest little girl sitting in stroller crying her eyes out. She couldn't have been more that 12 months old. So I smiled and waved at this little girl and here's where the weird part happened. She just stopped crying, just like that. It was like she was mesmerized at me or something.� Her mom, who was a total MILF by the way, just stood there in utter amazement giving me one of those "how the hell did he do that?" looks. So I smiled and said hi to her and told her she had a cute baby and I told her that the baby had powerful set of lungs. She just smiled at me and then it was my turn to be rung up.�Damn I should have checked for a ring because if she was a single mom, I SO would have "shoplifted the pootie". ;) I guess I was too distracted at that moment to get on my game like that.

I don't know what it was about that moment but it was indeed an unusual thing for me. Being of a scientific mind I came up with several theories to explain this strange phenomenon that had just occurred:

1. I have some strange untapped paternal instinct or aura that instantly soothes crying and screaming babies but it has somehow never chosen to manifest itself until now.
2. I have this unusual power that mesmerizes females, but only if they are ridiculously young. The older a female gets the more immune they get to this effect and when the reach the age of 18, they achieve total immunity, which sucks because they are now of legal age and there is no way of for me to exploit this strange power.
3. I am the devil incarnate and somewhere on my scalp I bear the mark of the beast, 666 and my name "Derrick" is some modern perversion of the more traditional "Damien". I checked the mirror and could not find such markings on my scalp, but with all my luck it's under some "blind spot". Being the devil incarnate, I'm sure would allow me the power to silence screaming children at will by paralyzing them with fear I imagine.
4. It could have just been some strange fluke or coincidence, maybe the baby has a pattern of crying super loud one moment and then completely stopping the next moment and I just happened to turn around at that precise moment when she stopped.

Of course without any scientific research there's no way to prove any of these theories, making number 4 which is based on random chance the most likely possibility.� Maybe I'm just a complete and utter dork for actually making this silly list. Yeah I think I'll go with that one...

So finally after all the shopping we went to Pizza D.O.C., a pizzeria that served traditional Italian-style pizzas cooked in a wood-burned oven. It's a place we passed by on almost a daily basis but we never thought of trying it until now. Actually mom was the one who wanted to try it. My sister and I wanted to go to Maggiano's or The Cheesecake Factory at the mall, but these places were relatively pricey so mom practically insisted we try that place we haven't been to, so we caved and went there. The wine and martini glasses were unusually small, but the food was actually very good. We had Fried Calamari and Bruchetta for appetizers both excellent, but tiny portions, we could have easily had a third appetizer. The pasta dishes mom and I had was superlative, and the pizza which was about 12' and could easily pass as an individual entree because of the thin crust. The pizzas are of course their specialty. For dessert, a Tiramisu with a candle for the birthday girl. She made her wish, blew out the candle and we all made short work of. We wound up spending maybe half of what we would have spent at the other places, which made mom happy and the food was good so we were happy and that, as they say is that...