2003-08-24 - 11:59 p.m. - weekend recap...
Aside from my sister's birthday, there's nothing terribly new to report about
my life. I've been maintaining my running religiously every Monday, Wednesday
and Friday morning. Thus far it has been proving to be an exhausting ritual. I
can feel my athletic performance improving little by little, but the challenges
have also increased in terms of pace, distance and most painful final sprint
that I run with my cousin on those days. I have been slacking with my weight
training though, it's been difficult finding the energy to make it to the health
club lately. I need to push those weights if I want noticeable results.
Sure I could lie and say that I'm doing all this for my health. That may be a
fringe benefit, but the main reason I'm doing all this is to get female
attention. I figure if I sharpen my physical appearance it will help me be more
confident with the opposite sex instead of wondering to myself; "I'm good
enough to talk to this really attractive woman?" In a way I want to be able
to put a spell over women the way they always seem to put a spell over me. I'm
tired of feeling so fucking invisible, I want to be noticed and I don't care if
it's just for my body. I figure it will at least get me "in the door"
and maybe give me a chance to go deeper from there. I know I haven't talked
about my sexual yearnings for a while. This was done so in a conscious effort to
help expand upon the subject material of my writing, but just because I don't
write about it, it doesn't mean it isn't there.�
My sexual drive still remains a powerful motivational force within my being.
I still want, need and crave it and I know deep down it is the only nourishment
that can truly satiate all aspects of my being. Change, it seems is difficult to
come by lately however. So many missed prospects, so many fumbled opportunities
so much bad timing all too much concession to fear and doubt. It seems the only
thing more powerful than my desire for sexual companionship is my own tragic and
inescapable gravitation towards loneliness and emptiness. It is as if a giant
star was being sucked into a nearby black hole. Even the powerful radiating
brilliance of that star cannot escape the powerful gravitational force of that
black hole. Anyway, enough with the astrophysics analogies. Life sucks, I'll
live and if I'm lucky, I'll love.
I've made a new banner. It has been submitted but it isn't running at the
moment. I guess Andrew is off for the weekend. I've been trying to make my
banners like mini "teaser trailers" to my site. Most of them have been
blatant rip-offs of some of my favorite movies. Eventually I hope to come up
with something more original, but that all depends on time, inspiration and
effort. Anyway my mind is starting to drift so here's the my next banner that
I'm going to run:
I figure Brad Pitt will draw in the females and the Fight Club references
will draw in males and whomever else happens to be fans. I have so many more
ideas swimming in my head, but making these gifs frame by frame can be
painstaking to say the least. Once I get all my ideas churned out in to banners
I may go crazy with the page views. I figure if I have 5-10 different banners
running with thousands of views each, people won't know what hit them.�
I also got my reviews back from DiaryEvals and Orgasmic Reviews. I'll make my
usual commentary to both when I get a chance to. I've also submitted a few more
review requests. I still have Kathy's invitation to review at Rouge Reviews in
mind. It seems she has picked up a few reviewers on staff so I'm make sure
everything is straightened out with this diary before I take on that added
responsibility. I guess that all for now.