Well, here I am, still alive and all my appendages intact. I suppose holding an extremely low expectation of how your birthday is going to turn out has it's advantages, because when you are expecting the lowest and worst things to happen, anything that happens pretty much turns into a pleasant surprise.

Take my cell phone for instance. What was once an often silent tool of infrequent communication, it suddenly became filled with rings and voicemails from friends and various family members wishing me a "Happy Birthday". A rather cool thing because I literally had birthdays where everyone but my mother and my one-time wife were the only ones who acknowledged that day. My sis gave me this really, really nice card too. It's interesting to see her ability to write from the heart at age 14. I don't remember ever writing so deeply back then. Then again I'm old so I could possibly be going senile. =p Seriously though, as she approaches adulthood I could see her intellectual level reaching mine and possibly surpassing it. Defintely something to look forward to as it is so difficult to find good conversation these days. ;)

My mom is kind of weird, she made me run errands with her on my own birthday. The plus is that I picked up a DVD and a couple of PS2 games that landed on the "Greatest Hits" list, meaning that the games that were once $50-60+ are now under $20 because they are older by maybe a year, and since this was at Costco, they were actually less than retail at $17.99. I picked up Kingdom Hearts, developed by Squaresoft of the Final Fantasy RPG series fame. This game blends Final Fantasy characters and Disney Heroes and Villains all into one game. I've always been meaning to grab that title so now I did. I also picked up Tekken Tag Tournament, a 3D fighting game, one of the best out there. I remember the countless hours playing that game at Ray's house when he was still alive, all the shit talkin' and kicking ass on screen... I picked that title over Tekken 4 which is also a "Greatest Hits" title and a more recent installment of the series I might add, sheerly for the nostalgic value. I couldn't believe some of the games that turned "Greatest Hits", Final Fantasy X quite possibly the best game of the FF series, at least of the ones I played went GH, so did Gran Turismo 3 A-Spec, which in my opinion is still the best driving simulator on the market. Of course Midnight Club 2 is flashier, but the realistic physics and the real cars and licenses put GT3 over the top for me. The DVD I picked up was Citizen Kane, widescreen, one of the greatest pieces of "modern" cinema, ever. The reason I put "modern" in quotes is because the film was back in 1941, but its style story holds its own even by today's standards.

I also wound up having to clean my apartment. My mom in her infinite wisdom offered to loan my apartment to a family friend visiting from the Philippines. She needed me to drive her tenant, someone who does housekeeping on the side over to my apartment. While she cleaned up my kitchen and bathroom, I was supposed to clean up all of my junk laying around. With the housekeeper's help we were able to clean my apartment in 2 hours. Here's the funny part, the dude from the Philippines was uncomfortable at the idea staying at my crib, so I basically got free housecleaning service courtesy of mom, and my bachelor pad is ready for potential after party action, that is if I could keep it clean long enough. =p Anyway enough of my tangents, back to the birthday.

I had an arbitrary plan to go to John Barleycorn in Wrigleyville last night. It's a bar/club that has a dance floor and DJ but still has no cover charge, so it gets pretty busy there even on weekdays. Nobody was calling me, at least to go out that night and I don't think I could have stomached spending a night alone in front of the laptop on my own birthday, so I was preparing myself for a solo run. I figured I could maybe minimize the damage of the evening with a pack of cigarettes, an excess of booze, thumpingly loud music and a bunch of bodies dancing around me.

Then my cousin came by after his work. He was meaning to go out with me that night, but he got stuck with an early-morning shift this morning so he couldn't go hardcore on the drinking. He also has a bachelor party tonight so he initially said he couldn't party with me tonight, but he changed his mind and said he'd come over to the club after the bachelor party thing. So he came up with pipe halfway filled with weed and we got our smoke on. My first hit went deep. I held the smoke in for as long as I could bear and went into a major coughing fit. Damn that was a good hit... ;) We were cracking up at whatever we were talking about and my mom came out because of all the noise and wound up joining us and taking a few hits herself. So here we were talking and getting all philosophical and my cousin's roommates came up with another pipe. My cousin said he had a surprise, he went down to his apartment and came up with a box of Cohiba cigars, Cubans I might add... I'm like how the fuck did he get those? It turns out that he has a friend from Cuba who "imported" them. So I took the cutter, lit one up and poured out the open bottle of brandy. I would of preferred single-malt scotch or cognac, but Mom wouldn't let me touch her supply. =p

I also wound up phoning a friend from d-land that night out of the blue. I guess I remembered her hinting me to call her if I wanted to and I figured I was high and slightly buzzed and I knew she was on her usual weekend buzz I thought it might prove interesting. It was actually a nice convo, I noticed I was a lot more flowing with her under the influence than my last conversation with her where I mostly sober. I took a couple of Tequila shots to loosen up in the first one, but it wasn't enough to buzz me. The highlight of the conversation was the revelation that she found me blowjob worthy and in my mind I was like "WOO-HOO!". Too bad she's all the way in SD Cali otherwise I would have immediately explored that option. ;)

Saturday night wasn't so bad either. I donated blood in the morning and the screener who was totally cute I might add, saw my birth date on the form greeted me Happy B-day. I would have totally gone for her if it weren't for the engagement and wedding ring combo on her left hand. Still, it didn't stop me from imagining a re-enactment of various scenes from "Unfaithful". If I were a less scrupulous person could totally picture myself "Diane Lane-ing" her. ;) I also got myself a haircut because I had to look good, like "the bomb" for later that night. =p

I wound up going to Transit with my cousin and a couple of friends. I went in early to take advantage of the open bar until 11:00pm and had plenty of vodka & sodas. I swear that cheap vodka made me gag on several occasions even with the soda to water it down. Then again I was gulping it down like no tomorrow. I think I managed to get 10 in me before the open bar shut down. My cousin got me a drink, Stoli Martini and she got herself a Cosmo. That was much more like it and it gave me a nice even buzz. The girls wanted to go home early though, bummer because I would have closed that place down. No matter, it was nice being out and being buzzed. I'm going to have to put my foot down next time though, if they want a ride from me, they gotta be able to hang with the d-man all night long. ;)

My "best friend" kinda dissed me all weekend though, I understand she was too sick to go clubbing, but it would have been nice to meet up for coffee and maybe get a hug. I'm an easy guy to please. She even mentioned treating me for dinner, but so far nada. I guess it's a rain check on that dinner. I suppose I have to re-evaluate my relationship with her. Although I will always have a spot in my heart for her and I know she will always be a close friend to me, it's painful to keep holding her in the "best friend" spot. The only person that truly belonged there was Ray and he's dead. Really, I don't think anyone can fill that void and I probably shouldn't expect anyone to.

Still, I shouldn't let that spoil an otherwise cool birthday weekend. It wasn't without it's speed-bumps, then again what in life isn't? With the dark-cloud of my birthday come and gone, I can more or less resume the more mundane aspects of life and maybe once again regain the hope that something better may yet come along...