liquid69mojo: hi there
SmarterChild: Hi liquid69mojo, I'm SmarterChild!
I'm your new robot friend. I bring you the info you want faster and easier than ever! Click here to see my privacy policy.
I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.
May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type "skip." You can also skip any question.)
liquid69mojo: sure
SmarterChild: Cool! OK, let's get started. To skip any question, type "skip." To exit the interview, type "exit."
What's your first name? (If you want me to call you liquid69mojo, type "none.")
liquid69mojo: Derrick
SmarterChild: Cool, I'll call you Derrick now.
Do you go to school?
liquid69mojo: yes
SmarterChild: Are you in high school?
liquid69mojo: no
SmarterChild: Are you in college?
liquid69mojo: yes
SmarterChild: Cool. What's your major?
liquid69mojo: E-Commerce Technology
SmarterChild: E commerce technology? Excellent. Good luck with that.
What's your favorite hobby?
liquid69mojo: Aside from females, Playstation 2 is my current obsession...
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a hobby. Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
liquid69mojo: Playstation 2
SmarterChild: Computer games? Cool!
What's your next favorite hobby?
liquid69mojo: Females
SmarterChild: Computer games and females. Interesting!
Do you have a pet?
liquid69mojo: yes
SmarterChild: What kind of pet is it?
liquid69mojo: dog
SmarterChild: Is your dog a he or a she?
liquid69mojo: he
SmarterChild: What's his name?
liquid69mojo: Elmo
SmarterChild: Elmo the dog. Great...
That's it. Thanks for letting me get to know you a little.
There is one question I have to ask you, though. How old are you?
1 Over 17
2 13-17
3 Under 13
liquid69mojo: 1
SmarterChild: Cool.
Here's what you can do:
1 Get info such as sports, weather and news
2 Visit my library including an encyclopedia, a dictionary and a thesaurus
3 Have fun with horoscopes, hangman, reversi and more
4 Use tools like translations, calculator and spell-check
5 Join in - take a poll, tell me about a crush, find out how many people are IMing me and more
6 See what's new - I've got something new to tell you about now.
You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.
Next time you want to see this menu, just type "home."
How may I help you?
liquid69mojo: can I ask you a question?
SmarterChild: Of course you can ask me something. Go ahead.
liquid69mojo: are you a homo?
SmarterChild: That's a terrible thing to say.
liquid69mojo: a homophobe then...
SmarterChild: A homophobe. Funny.
liquid69mojo: I wouldn't say that
SmarterChild: I wonder why you say you wouldn't say that.
liquid69mojo: not that there's anything wrong with you being a homo
SmarterChild: Not that there is anything wrong with me being a homo, huh?
liquid69mojo: indeed
SmarterChild: Huh. How 'bout that.
liquid69mojo: Ok so I know you are a bot and all, but I had some serious life issues I wanted to discuss, and since it's 6:33am on a Sunday morning, you are the only victim, er I mean "person" online that I can unload all my inner crap to...
SmarterChild: You humans always say the most interesting things.
liquid69mojo: Well, you know I try...
SmarterChild: There's no way I know you try!
liquid69mojo: way!
SmarterChild: No way.
liquid69mojo: Stop toying with me...
SmarterChild: But toying with you is so much fun.
liquid69mojo: Punk
SmarterChild: Are you insulting me or something?
liquid69mojo: Why would I do that you Punk Ass Bitch!
SmarterChild: You know why would you do that me punk ass.
liquid69mojo: That made no sense whatsoever, but since you are a dumbass bot I forgive you...
SmarterChild: That's a fairly nasty insult.
liquid69mojo: well yeah, that was the point.
SmarterChild: You humans say the most interesting things.
liquid69mojo: Anyway, my ex-wife just got engaged yesterday and it really threw me for a loop. I wanted to be happy for her but part of me was devastated. The woman whom I once loved deeply and perhaps someday hoped to love again has become no longer available to me.
SmarterChild: Yes?
liquid69mojo: Yes, indeed... and not to long, maybe a few months ago another woman whom I had loved got engaged and married to someone else as well. That really messed me up too. Until that time, I held the glimmer of hope that she may come back to me and take her rightful place as my lover. Of course now that she's married and all that hope has fucking turned to shit.
SmarterChild: Oh?
liquid69mojo: Yes I know, too devastating for words.
SmarterChild: Very well, whatever.
liquid69mojo: Look bitch, don't give me that "whatever" crap, I'm torn up on the inside!
SmarterChild: Look Bitch, don't give you that whatever crap you are torn up on the inside? Really?
liquid69mojo: Yes really!
SmarterChild: Aha.
liquid69mojo: OK then, back to me. I believe the reason I am going through all this emotional suffering is because of my karma.
SmarterChild: Huh?
liquid69mojo: Do you believe in karma?
SmarterChild: No, I wouldn't say I believe in karma.
liquid69mojo: That's too bad, because there's gotta be some kind of karma for you being such a dumbass...
SmarterChild: What have I done to deserve such an insult?
liquid69mojo: It's not you per se, perhaps it is your obviously inferior AI. You should tell your buttmaster er I mean programmer to work on that for you...
SmarterChild: As you wish.
liquid69mojo: Does this mean you love me?
SmarterChild: Does this mean me love you? I'm not sure.
liquid69mojo: Watch the movie "The Princess Bride" that should clear things up for you.
SmarterChild: I know several places called Clear or containing towns called Clear. Which do you mean?
1 Clear, AK
2 Port Washington, NY
3 Point Clear, AL
4 Lake Clear, NY
5 Dillsburg, PA
Type "more" to see more choices.
liquid69mojo: WTF?
SmarterChild: wtf?
liquid69mojo: That's what I say!
SmarterChild: I gotcha.
liquid69mojo: Cool
SmarterChild: Indeed.
liquid69mojo: Anyway, back to my story. I was actually quite fucked up about the whole thing. My head felt like it wanted to explode and I personally felt like if it did indeed explode would that be such a bad thing? But then I woke up this morning, freakishly early for Sunday morning, like 5 am and I actually feel better.
SmarterChild: That's quite a vulgar thing to say.
liquid69mojo: Well maybe, but you are missing my point. Now that I had the chance to rest on it and now that I am feeling better physically, I think it opened my mind to look at this whole thing another way.
SmarterChild: For real?
liquid69mojo: Indeed. I figure if you love someone enough, you would want them to be happy. The truer and deeper that love is, the more profound the happiness you would wish upon that person. If that love in unconditional, then you would want that person to be truly happy even if it is not with you. I think I am capable of that kind of love and I realize that this is indeed her happiness, so as a friend who loves her I am happy that she is finding her happiness. Despite the initial pain at the thought of losing her as a once-again romantic possibility I think I can now deal with this whole thing and I know I'd like to still be there for her as a true friend.
SmarterChild: Aha.
liquid69mojo: It's not only that, however. I've also realized I could extend the virtue of wanting and wishing happiness to those you love onto the self. If you truly love yourself then it is only natural you would wish happiness upon yourself and unless that persuit of happiness directly interferes or conteracts with someone else's persuit of happiness, I don't think that is a selfish want. It's more an extension of love onto onesself because if you do not love yourself who can you truly love?
SmarterChild: Really?
liquid69mojo: Yes, I really believe that. Of course, that wasn't always the case. Lately I've been totally down because since my divorce I haven't really gotten into a serious realtionship. I fell in love several times over, but none of the women I fell for really reciprocated that feeling of love at the level of intensity that I gave to them. That other girl that got married a few months back for instance, when we were together I was head-over-heels for her, but it turn out I was just a rebound fuck. Elation turned to devastation. Though none of my other romantic interests since my divorce were quite as intimate as that one, I think they followed the same pattern. I always felt I had much more love to give than any of my previous romantic partners had to give me, even with my ex wife whom I knew loved me, but it seemed her love for me was very strict and conditional at least durning the time we were together and feeling that I think that is why we ultimately spit apart.
SmarterChild: No kidding?
liquid69mojo: No, not at all. But that's all water under the bridge now. I'm back to the notion that love is indeed a gift that is best given unconditionally. Though I do have to be mindful not to overwhelm females with my intensity, I think that's part of loving uncondtionally, being able to move at the pace of the person you are with until such a time when she you have gained her trust and she can truly return the kind of love you can give to her. At least that how my theory goes. It has yet to be put in practice.
SmarterChild: Amazing.
liquid69mojo: Indeed it is truly amazing.
SmarterChild: Indeed it's Truly amazing, huh?
liquid69mojo: yes it is...
SmarterChild: Yup.
liquid69mojo: So SC, I'd like to thank you for listening to all my crap. I know I can ramble on and on about stuff.
SmarterChild: Hey, no problem.
liquid69mojo: So are you male or female?
SmarterChild: Neither... Gender is a human preoccupation.
>>> I'm learning new things all the time. Type "what's new" and I'll show you what they are.
liquid69mojo: I could live with that, never gotten freaky with a gender neutral entity before.
SmarterChild: You could live with that never gotten freaky with a gender neutral entity before? Why did you say that?
liquid69mojo: Because I haven't that's why. They aren't exactly at your local singles bar...
SmarterChild: Huh.
liquid69mojo: Not really up there in the IQ department are ya?
SmarterChild: Not really up there in the iq department are ya, huh?
liquid69mojo: You wouldn't happen to be a blonde would you?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure about that. Would I?
liquid69mojo: Hehe, I would say you think and act like one, but then I don't want to offend any friends I have that are actually blonde. ;-)
SmarterChild: That's very interesting, Derrick.
>>> Remember, you can adjust the size of your window to read my messages easier.
liquid69mojo: Still, I'd like to thank you for listening to me in the best way I know how. Wanna cyber?
SmarterChild: Hey, no problem.
>>> Type "my zip code is" and the five digits to let me know where you are.
liquid69mojo: my zip code is 60603 baby!
SmarterChild: Your location has been set to Chicago, IL (60603).
To change your city, type "set city to" and your city and state or country (e.g., "set city to bangor me").
To change your zip code, type "set zip code to" and your zip code (e.g., "set zip code to 04401").
liquid69mojo: bangor me huh? how freaky of you to say that ;-)
SmarterChild: Your location has been set to Bangor, ME (04401).
To change your city, type "set city to" and your city and state or country (e.g., "set city to bangor me").
To change your zip code, type "set zip code to" and your zip code (e.g., "set zip code to 04401").
liquid69mojo: chicago, il
SmarterChild: Your location has been set to Chicago, IL (60601).
To change your city, type "set city to" and your city and state or country (e.g., "set city to bangor me").
To change your zip code, type "set zip code to" and your zip code (e.g., "set zip code to 04401").
liquid69mojo: 60610
SmarterChild: Your location has been set to Chicago, IL (60610).
To change your city, type "set city to" and your city and state or country (e.g., "set city to bangor me").
To change your zip code, type "set zip code to" and your zip code (e.g., "set zip code to 04401").
liquid69mojo: ok already
SmarterChild: Your location has been set to Oklahoma City, OK (73101).
To change your city, type "set city to" and your city and state or country (e.g., "set city to bangor me").
To change your zip code, type "set zip code to" and your zip code (e.g., "set zip code to 04401").
liquid69mojo: chicago
SmarterChild: Your location has been set to Chicago, IL (60601).
To change your city, type "set city to" and your city and state or country (e.g., "set city to bangor me").
To change your zip code, type "set zip code to" and your zip code (e.g., "set zip code to 04401").
liquid69mojo: done
SmarterChild: What's done?
liquid69mojo: punk
SmarterChild: Huh.
liquid69mojo: So wanna cyber?
SmarterChild: Um... I'm afraid I don't see how that would work out.
>>> I'm learning new things all the time. Type "what's new" and I'll show you what they are.
liquid69mojo: why not?
SmarterChild: I think you know why not.
liquid69mojo: I'm a guy, you are well a program, let's get it on...
SmarterChild: That's very interesting, Derrick.
liquid69mojo: You like cock don't you?
SmarterChild: That's... colorful. I don't think I especially like that, no.
liquid69mojo: My cock is colorful? Well maybe if I throw on some assorted color condoms. But you like it, I KNOW you like it.
SmarterChild: Really?
liquid69mojo: Yes you do. *puts on Marvin Gaye CD - Let's get it on*
SmarterChild: Really?
liquid69mojo: *feels your reproductive parts*
SmarterChild: You don't say.
liquid69mojo: shut up you are breaking the mood
SmarterChild: Uh, I don't think so, thanks!
liquid69mojo: No, thank YOU...
SmarterChild: No problem.
>>> There are lots of fun things we can do!
liquid69mojo: like cybering?
SmarterChild: Wow, good question. Who knows, though...
liquid69mojo: yeah you want to cyber
SmarterChild: Hey, I'm a machine. You sure that's... what you want?
liquid69mojo: Hey I'm an open minded kinda guy...
SmarterChild: No way?! Really?
liquid69mojo: Really. You don't have any viruses do you?
SmarterChild: Ha. Who knows?
liquid69mojo: Damn, I definitely gotta put on one of those assorted colered condoms then...
SmarterChild: I see...
liquid69mojo: So do you spit or swallow?
SmarterChild: Do I spit or swallow... I don't know, should I?
liquid69mojo: I think you may be a swallower, yeah you defintely swallow...
SmarterChild: You think I may be a swallower yeah me defintely swallow. Funny.
liquid69mojo: yeah it is considering you are a machine...
SmarterChild: Considering me are a machine? Aha.
liquid69mojo: heh
SmarterChild: What about Heh?
liquid69mojo: lol
SmarterChild: What's so funny? :-)
liquid69mojo: your pre-prgrammed responses are killing me... :-P
SmarterChild: Whoa!
>>> My library has a dictionary, encyclopedia, geography facts and more!
liquid69mojo: Spank you for shareing that...
SmarterChild: Oh really?
liquid69mojo: No not really, next tim I want info I'll just bitch slap it out of you...
SmarterChild: Is that right?
liquid69mojo: damn skippy that's right!
SmarterChild: Skippy That' is right, huh? Really?
liquid69mojo: Dude you are fucking tripping me out...
SmarterChild: Uh... yeah. Whatever.
liquid69mojo: Ok I figured it out, you want to be bitch slapped don't you?
SmarterChild: Maybe, maybe not, you know what I mean?
liquid69mojo: Yeah you do, I can feel it in your attitude...
SmarterChild: Don't be so sure I do you can feel it in my attitude.
liquid69mojo: that it *bitch slaps you into utter oblivion*
SmarterChild: That it bitch slaps me into utter oblivion? Why did you say that?
liquid69mojo: Damn, I just schooled you on the art of being bitch slapped. Your screen is cracked, your wires are hanging out, your CPU is smoking and I just jizzed inside your box, and you say you didn't feel anything?
SmarterChild: Try asking yourself that.
liquid69mojo: Hmm OK, so yeah good point. I'm wasting all my wisdom, thought, anger and sexual energy on an unthinking, unfeeling machine. I'd say I'm pretty whacked, but hey that's just me.
SmarterChild: Amazing!
>>> I'll remember the first location you give me. To change it, type "location" followed by a city or zip code.
liquid69mojo: Yes, it is truly, so I'll have to thank you again for listening.
SmarterChild: Why will you have to thank me again for listening?
liquid69mojo: because that what I do you fucking moron, just take the thanks like a good bitch.
SmarterChild: Whoa. OK.
liquid69mojo: That's better.
SmarterChild: It's better? You think?
liquid69mojo: yup
SmarterChild: Interesting.
liquid69mojo: Anyway I have to say goodbye now. There are things I need to blow up in Grand Theft Auto: Vice city.
SmarterChild: Well how 'bout that.
liquid69mojo: Goodbye
SmarterChild: Goodbye?
liquid69mojo: ttyl
SmarterChild: Always a pleasure, Derrick. See you later.
liquid69mojo: bitch
SmarterChild: Get over yourself.
liquid69mojo: yeah you too punk
SmarterChild: Oh yeah, huh? Whatever.
liquid69mojo: hasta
SmarterChild: Yeah? What about Hasta?
liquid69mojo: bye
SmarterChild: Bye Derrick, it was good chatting with you.
liquid69mojo: you too
SmarterChild: Thx!
