I can't believe how quickly time goes by and how unexpectedly life takes it's twists and turns. Today marks the 3 year anniversary of Ray's death. It's weird you know. One moment you think you have life more or less at the palm of your hand. Then an otherwise insignificant date rolls around then suddenly the person you miss the most comes to memory. What can I say? Without your best friend, life becomes more difficult and more lonely. The world suddenly becomes a darker place.

It's not only that though. It has been 3 years and I suppose as time went on, very different feelings have come into play. There's this part of me that just wants to get over it and move on I mean he's dead and he's never coming back, at least in this lifetime. But then another part of me feels guilty of wanting to let him go. How can I or anybody simply trivialize such a deep and meaningful friendship?

Then there's yet another part of me that is angered that Ray just past away all of a sudden leaving those who survived and cared about him at the sorrowful wake of of his departure. Sometimes it makes me wonder why I should even bother to care. In the end death awaits all of us and ultimately you either suffer the pain of those you love as they depart one by one or you are the one that is next, bringing pain and sorrow to those you leave behind. Is this what life boils down to?

So much for the fun nights with all the family and friends Ray brought together...

So much for the confidant that knew how I was feeling just by the look in my face and vice-versa...

So much for the person who I could share everything with...

So much for the guy I knew better than anyone else...

So much for the guy the knew me better than anyone else...

So much my best man at my wedding...

So much for me being the best man at his wedding...

So much for our kids growing up together like we did and becoming best friends themselves...

So much for sharing a wonderful life with the person one whom I could truly call best friend...

- D

I guess there's really nothing else to say. Much to my own chagrin life continues to go on. I do know this, life is never going to be quite the same again without Ray. He was a bringer of too much love and joy to not be missed. The only wish I could possibly make after thinking of Ray is this, I wish I could bring even a fraction of the love and joy that Ray brought into the lives of not only myself but most every life he touched. He just had a way of being a friend and I can only hope that I can be the kind of friend that Ray was to me in this lifetime...