It's taking a while to adjust to the new morning schedule. To tell you the truth it feels a lot like jet lag. I was used to just sleeping late and waking up late. I usually woke up at around 10 or 11 am. If I didn't have that part-time job I probably would have gotten up later like 12 or 1 pm. Now I have my alarm set at 5:30 am, which gives me a 30 min "snooze bar" window and that sick shrieking noise my alarm produces is like spear stabbing its way straight through my soul. *eeeeek-eeeeeK-eeeeEK-eeeEEK-eeEEEK-eEEEEK-EEEEEK*

I've been trying to sleep earlier, I usually don't knock out until after midnight or later, but lately I've just been so tired out that I'm starting to drop before midnight. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it eventually. It's a little better now that it was last work week. Work has been coming along quite nicely. I fell right into the groove of answering calls. The remote control software helps out a whole lot, when it is working because I can fix 90% of the software issues that way. Imagine the cursor moving itself on your computer and setting up programs or wiping out viruses and the like and you have an idea what I do at my work.

I think the ultimate irony is that I'm starting to get a whole bunch of calls from other companies who have seen my resume on monster-track, a place where graduates can post their resume under the school they graduated from. I wish some of these companies called me months earlier when I could actually entertain other employment possibilities instead of now when I am already 2 weeks into a new position.

I suppose I'll have to pull my resume out of monster-track sometime soon because I plan to stay at my current position for a while and I don't really expect a huge salary upgrade from any of these places that are calling me. I'll probably go back into the market 3-4 years down the road. Hopefully I'll have my master's under my belt and would have moved upward significantly in my current company. I'll cross that bridge when I get there though. For now I think I'm in the right place at the right time in terms of my career.

My love life is of course a different story, or rather, if you have been keeping up with my diary it's been the same story all along. When it comes to relationships, it feels like I'm in a really weird place in my life. I guess my age has a lot to do with it. Most if not all of my friends in my age circle are all married responsible adults. The same thing is true with all of the people I work with. I suppose in many senses I'm just that proverbial fish out of water.

I don't know, I'd like to think of myself as the kind of person that doesn't need to be in a relationship to define who I am. I know quite a few people who have settled into not-so-blissful relationships for the purposes of security, whether it be psychological, emotional or even financial reasons. There are some people who seem to have gotten into relationships and even marriages because they think it is what they are "supposed" to do. Of course me, being human and all am not immune to those kinds of feelings. There are times where I am painfully lonely, there are times when I wonder why I too could not settle down into and accept a somewhat mediocre but ultimately stable relationship.

I guess part of it has to do with timing. My first relationship was also my longest and most serious. I guess it can be tough to know how good you may have it without a basis for comparison. I guess my single life didn't turn out the way I hoped it might have. It almost feels like I did everything backwards. In my early twenties I had the most potential and the most opportunities to have fun and to be other relationships. I was the kind of sexy that didn't really have to try, I just was. Back then I was able to attract the kind of women I was attracted to with little or no effort other than establishing eye contact.

It was because I was in a relationship however, that I couldn't really do anything about it unless I wanted to be a cheater and really I didn't want to be that kind of guy. In the seven or so years that I was with her I slowly became complacent, gaining weight and eventually losing my looks. I think around the time of my divorce was when I was at my heaviest weight and part of me became somewhat resentful that I had squandered the beauty of my youth trying to be in an adult relationship too quickly. I suppose it not too late for anything. I still have that baby face, I just have to dedicate the time and effort to my fitness so I can match the body with the face. I suppose I'll have to diet too, but without any sexual partners, I still want something nice to go into my mouth. One thing at a time I suppose.

Still, regaining my state of full-time employment does help with the confidence a whole lot. I was hanging out with one of my cousins and her co-workers. We had to drive out to a club out the 'burbs because that's where most of her co-workers resided and hung out at. Anyway, you could say it was like most any other night that I go out except for the fact that there was this cutie standing at the end of the bar. I was already 2 martinis under and wanted to water it down a little so I ordered an Amstel Light. She was curious about it so I gave her my whole spiel about how it's a light beer that actually tastes good and doesn't taste watered down like other lights.

So we started talking for a little bit and I wound up with her e-mail address. Oh for single guys, if you are out there looking and you find someone interesting to talk to but you are nervous about asking for a phone number, try asking for their e-mail address. I guess e-mail is less personal than a phone number so they are easier to attain and give you a chance to get to know a person. I'm not sure whether or not it's going to head anywhere with her, but the most important thing is that I had the confidence to converse with her and to follow-up with the e-mail thing. I guess things are slowly starting to pull together.

For tonight however, it's the b-day of my one of my cousins. He reserved a few spots in the VIP room for him and his crew and of course I got invited. The deal in that place is the if you are a guy and you want to sit in the VIP room you have to order bottles and being a night club they will of course rape you with the price for bottles. So each of us is pitching in $100 each for the bottles, but we get free roam of the VIP section and as luck would have it, all the females have to do is look good to get in. I'm not sure how this will all play out since I haven't really reached "balla" status yet, but it should at the very least prove to be an interesting experience.

Anyway, I have a long day and night ahead of me. Although I do have a few other things that I want to talk about, this entry is getting long, so I'll save it for next time.