Sorry for the lack of updates as of late. Things have been a bit hectic over the past few days. I mentioned some family drama last entry and I�ve been asked to write a letter to help resolve the conflict because apparently I�m viewed upon as being a good writer. Although there is no definite resolution as of yet it took me several days of writing and revising to make sure all relevant points were covered. That was a considerable drain on energy and my free time but hopefully it will help provide peace and understanding to the person who is raising the dispute.

I finally managed to get busted V3i my phone to a repair shop that was open on Saturday. Although the technician was not working last Saturday, I was able to drop off the phone and he was able to take a look at it today. It looks like he will have to place a new replacement motherboard on special order and have it imported to the US. He�s following a few leads, but the first place he checked was charging $150.00 for the part and since the part is shipped directly from China where they are manufactured, it will take about 3 weeks to get from there to here. Hopefully he�s able to find a better deal, but even if it does cost that much, it might be worth it for me to go ahead with the repair because it�s still cheaper than getting the same phone brand new. Hopefully there is better news regarding the phone tomorrow.

I went to a couple of parties over the weekend as well. My cousin�s roommate was promoting a party on Friday Night. There was a long line at the venue and it was unusually windy, bitter and cold for spring. It kind of sucked having to wait out there and when we finally got in, there was nothing much really going on so we broke out early and had some burritos at a nearby taqueria. Fucking awesome Burritos and Tacos there by the way�

Saturday night was a little better. We attended the B-day of one of my cousin�s co-workers. I was able to pour quite a few drinks into my system. An interesting thing happened, the guy that I mentioned several entries ago that picked up the ball on the chick I was attracted to, happened to be in attendance. Although they are supposedly �seeing� each other now, she wasn�t in attendance. What he was doing however, was flirting with another one of my cousin�s friends. I didn�t really make anything of it, because he really seemed like the playful flirtatious type, but then they wound up leaving the party sometime in between seemingly for one of those late-night hook-ups I keep hearing about. =p

So anyway, I had a major buzz going on so I chilled on the liquor intake and switched to water and waited for the clock to wind down to closing time. We wound up going to this other Mexican restaurant for some food. The food was OK but the company was pretty whacked. My cousin and the friend she was with pitched in some cash towards the bill but the birthday girl�s friends scattered like cockroaches just when the lights are turned on as soon as the bill arrived. It was the most ghetto ass/trailer park thing I�ve ever seen in my life.

I didn�t mind paying for the birthday chick because it was her birthday, but the two other friends, even if their asses were broke, should have thrown at least something in or hey I'm broke, but thanks for picking up the check. It�s not so much the money because I spent more on drinks for myself alone that night without blinking. It�s more about the principle of the situation. Still, I�m glad I have that kind of money. If this were to happen when I was broke, it would have been brutal and I would have had to hand out the huge, wide-arced, backhanded bitch slapping. The next time they are hanging out, the  answer to me joining them is a huge "NO".

That wasn�t the interesting part however. The guy whom we thought hooked up my cousin�s friend for that night called my cousin that same night talked for a bit and then handed the phone to �her friend�. The problem is my cousin thought it was her friend whom he drove off with that night and not her other friend whom he had been seeing these past few weeks, so she called her by the wrong name. I�m not sure what happened after that exactly, but it didn�t sound that good.

It did manage to trigger a series of thoughts. I began wondering how this guy managed to pick up on most of my cousin�s more attractive friends so easily. Although he isn�t ugly, I wouldn�t exactly call him attractive either. He is rather tall and slim though. From what I have gathered, it has much less to do with his looks and much more to do with his personality. I used to be much more charming and flirtatious than I am now. I wonder what the fuck happened to me?

I guess its a few things with my life. As of late, I never really had an event of great happiness. Lately, life seems to be a string of bitter and sad events like my divorce and the death of my best friend. It�s almost like some part of me died on the inside when he left and the rest of my body is just waiting for its turn to follow suit. If I had to rely on just myself the state of mind I�m in now, I�ll be totally fucked. I mean seriously, it�s been so long since I�ve had true happiness that I�m leaning towards the expatiation that it�s never going to occur in my life anymore.

It totally sucks going through life having to think and to feel this way, but really what can you except to keep hanging on and to keep trying? Hopefully I�ll get over it and the pendulum will swing somewhere back to normalcy, I mean forget happiness, just stop it with the solitude and the pain and the death already. I mean fuck! Maybe I should take up skydiving. Holy fuck that was random.

*sigh* Anyway, I�m totally procrastinating on an assignment that�s due tomorrow. I don�t know if I have the energy to finish it up tonight. Maybe I�ll just go home, start it up and work on it until I get drowsy, sleep it off and try to start early tomorrow. Hasta mana�a�