Sorry for not updating lately. The last week or so has been pretty fucking tiring. I didn�t make significant contributions on the first few deliverables on my team project, thanks to my extended illness. Therefore, as soon I recovered from that damn cold/flu, I grabbed the ball for the last deliverable and ran with it to make up for slacking previously. Yup, aside from the occasional cough, derrick is fully recovered.

The only problem with that whole situation is that I also had individual assignments due for both of my classes so I spent a good part of the weekend before last working exclusively on the team deliverable and I spent last Monday through Wednesday and part of Thursday thanks to an extension, scrambling to meet the deadlines for my individual assignments. Normally 4-5 hours of sleep for one night is no problem for me, but when it�s 3-4 nights in a row, it eventually takes its toll on my body and the act of simply trying to stay awake through an otherwise normal day becomes a painful challenge. Caffeine helps here and there, but it�s a poor substitute for actual rest and sleep, especially for an old guy like me. I think 6 to 8 hours of sleep is ideal for me. Just another year and a half for grad school and I�ll be free.

To say my dating life as of late hasn�t been spectacular would be a gross understatement. To say that I�ve also been unlucky would probably rank a close second to the previous statement in terms of grossness of understatement. By continually stating the obvious about how my dating life sucks, it will probably put me in contention for the king of understatement. I knew someday I�d be a winner at something. So just have that crown ready for me bitches!

But seriously, it was last Friday night that put me in this weird twilight zone moment. I was hanging out with Ray�s brother. He just turned 21 fairly recently we we�ve been hanging out on and off. Our other cousin resigned from her job so that she could go to school full-time so there was a little going away party thrown for her that night. I had a few drinks and some fun at the gathering.

One of my cousin�s best friends, who also happened to be Ray�s ex-girlfriend, was there as well. We usually have this mutual flirtation/attraction thing going, but unfortunately it�s when we are out drinking so I�m never sure if it�s actually me or if it�s just the influence of booze in her system and yeah, she drinks quite a bit.

I suppose that question got answered more or less when Ray�s bro took interest in her and made his move and to make a somewhat medium story short, he scored with her. I guess whatever Ray had with women rubbed off on his little bro. Is it possible to be proud of someone, while at the same moment be disappointed at yourself? Because that�s kind of how I felt when I got caught up with the whole story the next morning. That boy just spit game all night at her and whatever he lacked in smoothness, he made up for in a level confidence bordering almost in arrogance and obviously it worked for him.

I suppose if I really wanted to, I could have done exactly the same thing with her. I certainly had the opportunities in the past and even that night had I been persistent enough. I guess what I�m really trying to say is yes, I might have wanted her, but I�m not sure if I wanted her in that way. I don�t think drunken hook-ups and one night stands are something that I�d want if I had the choice, but then again going though this extended dry spell, the idea of what I�m actually willing to settle for is obviously blurred and skewed.

What I can surmise from all this is that she probably wasn�t interested in me specifically, but a hookup in general. But that�s cool. I think it�s better for me to know with a better degree of certainty instead of just wondering about it. If anything I wasn�t hung up about her like I was the Bombshell or the Drop Dead Gorgeous chick. Then again I�m probably the only geek that takes deeper self-awareness as a consolation over sex. Go figure.

In other news, I went ahead and bought another phone. This time it�s the Royal Silver - Sony Ericsson Cybershot K800i - Casino Royale Edition. Although the SE Cybershot K790a is more compatible with the networks in the US, I couldn�t pass up the chance to buy the same phone that James Bond had in the movie. Yes, I�m a geek like that. I�d say the best part of the phone hands-down is the camera, with a 3.2 Megapixel resolution, auto-focus and a real Xenon flash not that weak little LED flash/light or worse, no flash at all like every other camera phone has. Although the K800i doesn�t look quite as stylish as my D&G RAZR or my Nokia 8801, it�s stylish enough and it pretty much beats everything else I�ve ever owned in terms of functionality.

Unless you are a pro photographer that needs those huge SLR cameras with the special lenses, the camera on this phone can pretty much replace your standard digital camera, with very good quality pictures and the flash helps greatly in dark indoor environments, meaning you may see a lot more pictures of me out in the wild (bars, nightclubs, etc.). I�m not sure if that�s a good or bad thing, but we�ll let the jury decide that one. Anyhow, that is all for now, until next time...