Has anyone seen the new Girl Scout cookie slogan? Apparently the Girl Scouts are the new The Borg Collective, with their aptly stated slogan �Resistance is Futile�. For the record, this is not exactly a good thing because I'm actually adding multiple boxes of cookies to my already sizable beer gut, but there are all these damn coworkers with daughters and grand-daughters who are in the scouts. So I buy a couple of boxes here, a couple of boxes there and suddenly my desk drawer looks like the cookie aisle at the grocery.

To add insult to injury, after I�ve bought all this cookies from my coworkers, those infernal girls scouts set up a stand in the lobby of my office building not once, but twice in the same month, taunting me with their �Resistance is Futile� banner and their boxes of Trefoils, Thin Mints and Samoas. So I order up a few more boxes, silently cursing the girl scouts for prodding and quite easily steamrolling over my weak will.

Don�t get me wrong, these cookies are delicious, but if you are going to eat as many boxes of them as I bought, your ass is going to be fat. Resistance training is not going to help me because resistance is indeed futile. All I�ll have is a nice muscular ass underneath my fat. I�m going to have to switch to cardio. I fucking hate cardio. Bastards! At the very least, these cookies are trans fat free, so I get to enjoy my fat ass without having my arteries clogged up. That just brilliant I say.

Meanwhile, I�m at my desk trying not to eat the entire open box in one sitting. I think I can make it, but just barely. Maybe I should have lunch first, that way I�m not all tanked up on cookies. Yeah I�ll do that and if I see another girl scout, I�m running for my life, preferably in the opposite direction. Until next time...