OY!

Yeah, I know. I've been totally slipping in my diary writing. What can I say? My passion for writing here has taken a huge slump as of late. Really I'd save myself quite a bit of energy if I just update regularly when the urge hits instead of making these huge "catching up" style entries I've been pulling lately.

I have an excuse of sorts this time. I was actually out of town these past few days to visit family in Long Island, NY and to have a little fun Atlantic City, NJ w/ family for the holidays. I have to say, my Christmas turned out much better than I expected. I was able to gather enough cash to give around $20 each to all my younger cousins. I know it's uncreative, but I think they like the cash gifts the best anyway so they can get their own stuff. It also happens to be the easiest last-minute gift to put together ever. =p

My mom, sister, aunt & uncle and 2 cousins all drove from Chicago to NY on Christmas Eve and arrived at my other uncle's and aunt's house in Long Island by Christmas Day. Other family flew in as well and we exchanged gifts that evening. I got some cash from my "rich" aunt and uncle which made for perfect gambling money. I also got a bunch of sweaters and a shirt, which on the plus side were styles that were wearable. I also got Final Fantasy X-2 which totally came out of the blue. Apparently one of my cousins asked my sister for a hint on what I wanted and my sister, knowing me so well got it right. That was totally bonus. I still have to take my sister shopping. I think we were leaning towards a Game Cube but I'll have her make the final choice.

The family and I set out for the Taj Mahal at Atlantic City the next day. I got nicely toasted in the Casbah night club at the Taj that evening with my two "21-and-over" cousins. The crowd was a little thin that night, still not bad considering it was Christmas Day. I wound up cheating my "no smoking" rule by having one of my cousin's cigarettes. She had me hold her pack and I reached the point of drunkenness where I was totally fiending for one, so I took one and lit up. At least I only wound up smoking one and not an entire pack like I usually would.

When the crowd reached the point of anorexia we all headed out to the casino floor and hit one of the craps tables. My female cousin shot the dice a bit and staggered back to the hotel room early. My other cousin hit a bit of losing streak and set out for greener pastures. I must have been down a good $50-$75. I waited until my place bets paid off and followed him to a nearby roulette table.

At the Roulette table, the minimum bet was $10 and the minimum single chip size was $5 on that table. For my first bet, I placed $10 on 24. It was the date of my birthday, my sister's b-day, one of my uncle's b-day and my Grandparents' wedding anniversary (actually on the same day of my b-day 10-24) and by some miracle the ball fell on that number.

I was so buzzed I didn't even know it landed until the roulette person put the marker on my number and piled a crazy amount of chips on my number. The payoff was 35 to 1 so I got $350 from my initial $10 bet. That win sobered me up quite a bit. After my celebratory cheer, I "blacked out" my chips (convert all of my smaller chips to larger ones that can be easily carried), I tipped the roulette attendant a $5 chip gave the rest of my red chips in my hand to my cousin (about $40 worth), wished him good luck, cashed in and called it a night, staggering back to my hotel room.

So there I was in the room, lying on the cot with the room spinning because I was still high from the win and the alcohol buzz. I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wander back onto the casino floor and risk losing my winnings. I've lost enough money to the house in the past, I figured I should walk away a winner this time. So in my drunken logic I wound up calling f-v. It was around 5 am eastern, so it had to be around 2 am pacific where she was.

I was thinking of leaving her one of my usual drunken voice messages. For some reason I'm still a little shy about calling her, but that inhibition is totally out of the window when I'm drunk. =p So anyway, instead of getting her voicemail, I wound up waking her, her cats and her best friend. I of course apologized profusely but she didn't seem to mind at all.

I'm a little foggy on the specific details but I imagine it was an interesting enough conversation because I was out in the elevator lobby until sunrise talking to her and my low battery warning was beeping. The last things I remembered telling her was that my battery was low and I remember she literally made me go back into my hotel room and drink like a gallon of water before I crashed. Personally I thought it was cute how she managed to care for my drunken state all the way from the other side of the country. =p

Personally I'm not sure what to make of our relationship. Don't get me wrong, it's one of the coolest relationships I have had the privilege of experiencing, but I have had my share difficulties with falling for people over the net. Time, distance and a plethora of unknowns combined with a wish, hope and feeling that something potentially wonderful may happen "if only things were different". Knowing myself, I have kept on guard but I know that anything can change and I can just as easily fall and break my heart. Or I can spend the rest of my days biting my tongue and holding back. I guess it's just one of life's infinitude of mixed blessings. Everything good in life seems to come attached with an equal measure of bad.

But I digress. I think the highlight of the vacation was the opportunity to bond with my cousins. It has been such a long time since we have had a chance for all of us to get together. We went down the boardwalk in Atlantic City, did a little shopping raced in the go kart track and went swimming in the Taj pool. We all had dinner that night, then it was off with the older cousins for another night of clubbing. Saturday night was packed at the Casbah. I barely recalled squaring the tab and tipping the bartender the night before, so I asked him. He said I took care of the tab and gave more than adequate tip. Relieved, I opened another tab with him and we began our drinking binge and got our dance on.

Me and the other male cousin were both single and looking like the bomb. Unfortunately we were both coming up dry. The female cousin was attracting some guys but she was taken and uninterested. Go figure. After the crowd started to die down at the club we went out to the boardwalk. Atlantic City police squad cars were all up and down the Boardwalk, so we went up the stairs to the terrace of Taj Mahal, we lit up a joint and got our weed on. We were all pretty mellow after that. One thing I did notice is that weed set off my cough a lot more intensely than the usual ultra light cigarettes I'm used to. I think it's because you have to breathe in the smoke deeply and heavily and hold in your breath for as long as possible before blowing out the smoke to get the best possible high. I may have to quite the casual weed smoking as well. *sigh*

Anyway after the club and the weed, I set aside $100 to try my luck in the craps and blackjack tables but came up dry so I called it a night at the tables. My female cousin and I wound up having breakfast at the Bombay cafe, Taj Mahal's 24 hour cafe and restaurant while my other cousin continued staking his claim at the blackjack table. The cousin who came with me was telling me about her life and I was telling her about mine as we ordered and had our late night/pre-dawn breakfast. We both had Eggs Benedict. Not the best I ever had, but it was passable.

Her main problems were work, her boyfriend and the vibe she has been getting from a guy at her work that has been totally digging her. I tried to relate my experiences and whatever wisdom I could with her so she could weigh in the male perspective. I also told her that all relationships have their ups and downs and that she was lucky to be in a relationship in comparison to leading the single-life like I had been for so long. She sat there bewildered at the fact that I was indeed still single being as intelligent and attractive as I was in her opinion. All I could do was shrug my shoulders in equal bewilderment.

I spent the last morning there sleeping and I wound up going to the spa in the afternoon for a little hot tub and steam room relaxation. Not such a bad way to deal with a hangover. My older cousins had to leave early to catch their flight. We ate at the Taj Mahal's Chinese restaurant The Dynasty. The entrees were a tad pricy, but the offerings were not so bad considering Atlantic City was no where near any "Chinatowns".

I barely had a chance to nap before we had to pack up and head out to our 12+ hour drive back home to Chicago. I arrived home this morning relaxed a bit more. I'm going to try to get in some early rest since I have to get back to the daily grind tomorrow morning. I hope everyone who celebrated had a great holiday, sorry I wasn't in to give the appropriate greetings.