Woah! Hey, Derrick is back. What has been going on with his life? Not much actually... Let's see, where do we begin? Ah yes, last Saturday night. J, the girl I went on a date with a few weeks back, went to Zentra, one of the night clubs here in Chicago with a few of her friends. Earlier that afternoon she invited me to meet her there. So I spend my day chillaxing and when evening hits I take my time, get my shower on, get ready, dress to kill, arrive fashionably late (around 12:30am) and catch her and one of her friends by the bar.

So I buy them and myself a round of J�ger-Bombers, a shot of J�germeister with a Red-Bull chaser. We toast and shoot, then she's off to catch the rest of her friends and the friend that she was with followed. I wasn't quite toasted yet so I got a martini and stood by the bar listening to the hip-hop that was spinning. J's friend was vibing me a little, but I played it cool and refrained from making any pass attempts.

I went for another martini which was a struggle because the place was crowded and inched my way through the crowd back to the dance floor looking for J. Then something straight out of the Twilight Zone happened. As soon I found my way back to J she tells me she has to leave, her girlfriends are going to this other party and she has to find the girl she rode in with. So I'm barely in this joint for 20 minutes and I'm basically there to see her and she tells me she is about to bail. Nice...

So she goes off looking for her ride and I go back to the bar to square my tab. The bartender was a complete hottie by the way. *ahem* So anyway I go looking for J to say goodbye and find her friend who also tells me that they are taking off so we hug and she kisses me on the cheek like we have always known each other. Interesting... I spot J by the exit, hug her and kiss her on the cheek and tell her to have a nice time.

So there I am at the club doing an unanticipated solo run. Since I was already out and dressed to kill I figured I should hang out a bit instead of getting all weirded out at the situation asking WTF? to myself all night. Running another bar tab was out of the question since I drove myself in, but I did happen to have an old unfinished pack of smokes in my jacket pocket. So yeah I broke one of my resolutions, so sue me. Actually I haven't had the cough for a while, it seemed to have went away, until that evening at least.

I tried not to chain smoke like I'd usually do but standing around at a club getting hardly any eye-contact with no steady stream of booze got rather boring. I wound up lighting quite a few that night. Before the evening was through I decided that I'll keep things with J on a friendship level at least for now that way I don't wind up bitter about the whole thing. If it goes anywhere beyond the friendship level the go signal would have to come from her and the way things have been going lately and from what I gathered in our recent conversations I don't think she's ready to go beyond that either, at least not with me.

There are other things I need to worry about in my own life I suppose. Speaking of broken New Year's resolutions, the one I made concerning my giving up the practice of spontaneous masturbation has been broken over and over and over again. I'm literally losing quality sleep-time over this. What can I say? I need it to relieve my stress and my mounting sexual tension, but as I get older the whole process seems to take longer. I still have the sexual desire, if anything it has multiplied but I find myself almost every night in a state of near insomnia until I finally bring myself to orgasm.

I'll tell you one thing, I don't need this shit right now. Things are so hectic both at work and school, I need my fucking rest. I wish I could turn my sexual desire off, at least until I can find a mate worthy of consummating that desire with. Ignoring or trying to brush it off to the side only seems to intensify that desire. I do need quality sleep-time if I'm going to survive this quarter at school. I guess I'll work something out, spank my monkey on a schedule or something.

I'll tell you right now, this quarter is going to be tough. The only saving grace is that my server-side programming class, as tough as it is, happens to be holding my interest. I actually look forward to learning that stuff and if I didn't have to sleep I probably would be studying and practicing the code instead. I can picture myself doing this for a living, but I need to learn the shit first. I think I'll be OK.

I guess that's all for now. I'm gonna give my fingers and my red-eyes a rest...