You know I've always had a certain degree of resentment for Valentine's Day. When you are single it often becomes a reminder of how lonely life can be without a significant other to share it with. Don't get me wrong, there were moments when a day like Valentine's Day, especially when you are mutually in love with a significant other, can be pure bliss. It's during this time that the little special things that you do for each other flow naturally because they come from the heart.

It's when you have been with each other for a while however when things begin sliding downhill, especially when you are with someone who is somewhat materialistic. Sometimes a dozen roses or (sacrifice a dozen of your favorite exotic flowers here) does the trick. Sometimes you need to mix it up a little, a sample box of chocolates in a heart shaped box, or a cute Valentine's day I <3 U teddy bear or even a combination of these things combined with a night out, dinner and a romantic movie perhaps? Ultimately it becomes the thought that counts in the choice of gifts.

I think it's when you start going out with each other for a long period of time and you start getting the idea that you may not exactly belong together, but you still are in it for the purposes of comfort and security that things can start getting sour and nothing seems to bring that out more than Valentine's Day. I think it is the expectation that things have to be special and romantic that day that has the tendency to put a lot of pressure on us guys. The fact that guys are not always romantically inclined creatures doesn't help the matter much at all either.

It was especially tough when I was still younger and not earning very much money. Valentine's Day took planning ahead and saving money. Of course I was quite a bit of the slacker even in those days so I wound up spending a bunch of money I didn't have at the last minute in hopes of avoiding the cold shoulder of the significant other. It was during those days when Valentine's Day became a time of undo stress. What gifts must I sacrifice to my goddess in order to continue receiving the privilege of her sexual intimacy?

Eventually, the flowers and the candy and the little teddy bears weren't good enough, she began wanting something else, something more special, something along the line of a ring with a piece of crystallized carbon on it and in my mind I was like whoa! I think after 6 years or so of being in an exclusive relationship that I finally caved in, got engaged and eventually married her. It was the next logical step up to our relationship, but I think the whole marriage and co-habitation thing became one of the triggers of the demise of our relationship. That and maybe I was to young and too sexually curious about other women for the marriage to ever be solid.

But whatever. I'm sure there are couples out there that do indeed make this day special for each other and it goes beyond simple gift-giving. Although I am jealous at the thought that such a level of bliss exists without the need for drugs, I have to say that this particular Valentine's Day wasn't so bad. I say this because it's actually my first day on the job in my new position as "Helpdesk Coordinator".

It's kind of a weird title, because I'm not really coordinating anything, except maybe myself getting my former bum ass up early and hauling it to work on time. The person that is already in helpdesk full-time probably has a better handle on the helpdesk situation that I do just coming back from a 10 month layoff. Really I'm more qualified in fixing hardware and software problems hands-on than over the phone. It will take some getting used to, but I think I'm up to the challenge.

In a previous entry, I think I already mentioned that the salary range for 2nd level tech support, the job I used to do, is typically higher than 1st level tech support, which is the job I am currently hired to do. I think they bumped me up to "Coordinator" so they could at the very least match my original salary. I think they also took my bachelor's degree into account. Plus, I'll be doing a few things on the side other than answer phones in the Helpdesk, such as installing software applications that would be distributed through the network and, in case an career-advancement opportunity springs up within the company, I do have my foot in the door.

So anyway, it was kind of a long day. I went through the whole employee orientation process, or in my case re-orientation. It looks like my 401K is just going to continue where it left off, which is cool. Now I have to choose my health insurance benefits and the like. I also got a bunch of office supplies for my corner of the cubicle quad (a cubicle with desks at each corner). I guess when you have been out of the game for a while, you develop a new appreciation for simple office supplies.

I felt like Rambo or something loading up my new stapler with a row of staples. I also got free lunch, one of those box lunches from one of those fancy deli type places. I grabbed the Ham and Swiss, I felt the need to dine on the swine. I would have gotten the Turkey, but I didn't want to get drowsy off the tryptophan (an amino acid found in turkey meat that makes you sleepy when ingested).

I guess with all things considered, I could honestly say I had a really good, albeit non-romantic, Valentine's Day. You know I wouldn't be me if I didn't try to dissect the modern interpretation of Valentine's Day has become. I did a little research and it turns out that the Valentine's Day tradition was actually adapted by the Roman Catholic church from an ancient Roman pagan custom. Basically it was a time when young women were matched with young men by drawing the women's names out of a box. Although the greeting card companies and the like are making a mint off of the modern idea that Valentine's Day is a day of romance for couples and loads of singles wind up being depressed because they may be feeling lonely on this supposedly "couples only" holiday, I think single people should remember that the whole Valentine's Day thing is really meant for singles to get together. I say fuck depression and fuck being lonely. That shit is so old-school.

It might be a while before I can actually afford to start dating again. I have to wait until the cash starts flowing and I begin catching up to the debt I've accumulated, but mentally I'm back in the game. So, OK, I'm officially posting this on the internet as a fair warning, look out for this tall, dark and cute guy, because he's going to try to charm the panties off of you. Now part of you may want to resist this guy, but I think it's better if you just give in. ;)

Anyway, I'm so fucking tired. I got up way earlier than I'm used to and I have to do the same thing again tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. *gags* Oh well, a man has got to do what a a man's gotta do. Later Alligator. Oh and Happy Valentine's day. Give yourself a Hershey's kiss for me. I'd give you a kiss myself and probably slip you the tongue but alas, this is the internet and there is no hot tongue action enabled web browsers invented yet. Too bad...