Sometimes I'm amazed at how quickly time passes between entries, especially considering how utterly plain and boring my life has been as of late. I guess there have been a few things that have been keeping me occupied like work. One of the people in my department just recently had her baby and is now on her maternity leave. There are times I find myself scrambling to help fill the void of her absence at work. I can't complain though because one of the reasons I was hired back was because of the anticipation that she would have to take a maternity leave.

In comparison to the situation I was in when I was underpaid and working part-time, I'll take the challenge of a busy full-time job any day. Still, despite the fact that I've managed regain a full-time job after almost a year of hiatus, I can't help but feel that I'm not putting as much effort into my life as I can be. For some reason I still feel like I�m in a slump. I do have plans to change that though. One of the biggest plans is returning to school to pursue a Master�s degree.

Right now I�m making payments towards the tuition of my final quarter, once I get my back tuition paid off I can register the fall quarter starting this September. I know that going back to take night classes on top of working full-time is going to kick my ass, especially since I haven�t been to school since last November, but part of me is totally looking forward to the challenge.

Meanwhile I�ve been making ongoing plans to go to the gym regularly. The problem is the last time I went to the gym, I wound up feeling totally demolished and that�s just from 30 minutes on the treadmill jogging speed. Damn, I must really be getting old and out of shape here. Of course this was around the same time my co-worker took her maternity leave and I wound up doing almost twice as much work as I used to. I�ve just been feeling tired and getting stress headaches eyestrain and all that crap. My body is kind of getting used to the new routine though and I�m not feeling nearly as tired as I was the past few days, so it�s back on the treadmill for me, starting this week. My mom is starting to get on my case about not working out too. I must be looking quite beefy these days. Damn my beefiness!!!

As far as my social life goes, it�s totally tanked. No prospects, no possibilities and for a very long time, no luck. Normally, I�d been hanging out with my cousin who usually likes to go out to the city to get her groove on. As of late however she�s been hanging out and partying with her co-workers and her suburban friends throughout the week so my social life has taken a bit of a dive. Two weekends ago I managed to do a little Salsa dancing and by that I mean that I�m not very good at it. I was hanging out with one of my cousin�s friends, who in contrast to me, is a really good Salsa dancer. Too bad she�s dating my other cousin, or else I�d totally go for her.

Aside from all that, I�ve arrived at a small epiphany that last weekend. I want to learn how to dance. The question is would it be totally gay of me to go out and seek lessons as a single guy with no dance partner? Not that there�s anything wrong with that, I just don�t want to misrepresent my sexual preference. I have a hard enough time as is trying to attract the opposite sex. Maybe I�m just being silly.

One thing I do know is that when it comes to learning dance moves, I am almost a complete retard. The last time I took any kind of dance lesson was back in Buenos Aires around 4 or 5 years ago for spring break, which ironically was the autumn season there because of the Southern Hemisphere and all. Anyway, Tango is all the rage in Argentina and as the old saying goes, �When in Rome...� so I wound up taking a lesson. Now granted, the Tango can be a very complicated and graceful dance, but I�m just talking about the simplest most basic steps. It took me a really long time to get the basic steps down with lots and lots of missteps in between. Once I finally got the basic steps down, I probably forgot all of them in less than a week. In other words, I suck, but what I think it really boils down to is that I need lots and lots of practice and I need a really patient teacher. I wonder if there�s a remedial class for dance retards. They can pick me up on one of those short school busses made for special people like me. =p

Now we can move on to last weekend. I was at home, just chilling out, not really expecting to do anything. As I mentioned previously, the cousin I usually hang with has been busy as of late, so I wasn�t really expecting anything to go on for the weekend. Then I got a call from my cousin Saturday evening letting me know there�s a birthday party thing that same night. Although it was rather short notice, it certainly beat the alternative of staying home with nothing to do on a Saturday night.

So I got my drink on, I got my smoke on and I got my dance on and by sheer dumb luck, I finally ran into the girl that I met a few months back whom I carelessly and drunkenly had forgotten to get her digits despite the really cool vibe we had for each other. It�s the story of my social life for the past decade or so really. Of the small handful of females that I�ve really caught a vibe with over the years, I never really had my shit together well enough to close the deal and get the digits.

I think the issue goes a little deeper than that though. I don�t think I�ll ever be that really smooth guy with a whole bunch of game that can easily pick up women and I don�t really expect myself to be. It�s frustrating however, when that rare connection does occur and I, as usual, I mess it up by not having the conviction and the courage to follow it through. It�s like I�m consistently setting myself up for defeat and I have nobody to blame but myself.

But I digress. I was talking about running into the girl I met a few months back. I think she remembered me because she seemed to smile at me the same way she did when we first met. We weren�t as �touchy feely� as that one liquor-soaked night, but I could feel the vibe was still there. We were pretty much off doing our own thing, but towards the end of the night I had a chance to talk to her. I sat down next to her in one of the lounge seats. We were both pretty buzzed at that point so she asked me for some water. I went to the bar and got bottled water for her and a Miller Lite for myself, which was pretty much like water to me. Taking advantage of our proximity, I asked her about her boyfriend situation. She said there was no �boyfriend situation�, but she did mention something about guys being assholes. I�m guessing it was a pretty bad breakup. Then I asked her if she would be opposed to going out sometime for dinner, and she said no, she wouldn�t be.

My recollection is a little vague but the conversation broke because she needed to go to the bathroom. After she wandered off I made my own bathroom visit. Damn lite beer makes me piss like a racehorse. Anyway, as I made my way back to the lounge area, my cousin, who is pretty drunk at this point, tells me she�s ready to go home. I pretty much conceded to her request, because if it wasn�t for her, I�d have absolutely no social life whatsoever but first I made my rounds and said my goodbyes. I told the girl I�ve been talking to that I had to take off. She was asking if I could give her a ride home as well, of course I agreed. So she tried saying goodbye to her friend, but it turned out her friend was also about to leave and didn�t need a ride from me anymore.

On top of all that I lost my cousin, so I waved goodbye to the girl and made my search through the crowded dance floor for my cousin. As I made my way through the middle, I found her dancing. So we danced for a few and then she wanted to go. It�s weird because I never known her to cut out early during our usual nights out. Also, she usually drives herself to the city and crashes at my apartment. I suspect the whole thing might have something to do with her new roommate. But anyway, it was a hell of a drive out to the �burbs. On my way home I was starting to nod off. I had to stop by a service station for a caffeine fix. Anyway, I made it home safe and sound and just crashed. It wasn�t until the next morning that I realized the folly of my ways. I didn�t get that girl�s number again, after I confirmed her interest in going out.

I know have a love/hate relationship with Vodka. I love the way it loosens me up to the point where I can talk to a girl. In the right dosage it can be the best friend to a shy guy like me. On the other hand, I really hate how it dulls the more practical side of me, the side that tells me �Hey, that girl really likes you. Better get her phone number before you take off.� Then again I can�t really blame the alcohol, because if I were sober I�d probably clam up and not say anything at all. In that respect, it really sucks to be me. Anyway, that�s all I have to say for now so until next time�