I just got through finals for the winter quarter. I had a final exam Tuesday night and a final project and presentation Monday night. I think I did well on both, but we�ll just have to see when the grades get posted, in a way though I�m glad the quarter is over. I could totally use the break. The spring quarter will resume for me on the 27th with two new courses.

Unfortunately the feelings of emptiness I�ve mentioned in my last entry are still lingering. I been putting quite a bit of thought into it and I have arrived to the conclusion that this is being caused primarily by my living situation. Although I�m in the same home I�ve been living most of my life, for some reason I can�t help but feel displaced and disoriented like I should be somewhere else.

I guess it�s some weird psychological need for me to start living and acting like an adult once again. It is almost as if moving out as an adult has transformed my childhood home into a place I can never truly return to in the same way because somehow I have transformed on the inside and have outgrown that way of living. It�s like going back to visit your old grammar school and seeing the chairs and desks you once fit perfectly in look like they have been hit with a shrink-o-matic gun but then later realizing it�s not the chairs that have changed, it is yourself that has grown.

I guess it was more or less a non-issue when I was actually out of a job, because I really didn�t have any choice, it was more or less a matter of food, shelter and survival. Now that I�ve been working full-time for over a year now things feel different, like I should be evolving from my situation. It�s as if sleeping on the mattress on the floor of the insanely messy spare bedroom that has become my room has been taking its toll and totally fucking with my Zen.

Seriously, I�m living like a fucking teenager and I use the term �fucking� metaphorically because trying to bring a chick in there would totally ruin my game to the point where no fucking would actually take place. But that�s an entirely different story. Come to think of it, the last time I had sex was with Miss Pea, way too long ago (like almost 2 years ago) when I was actually still living in the pad and could accomodate female guests. The cool part is that she recently had an erotic dream of me. At least I'm getting some action in the dream world. *GO ME!!!*

My move back to the bachelor pad is still in the works. My step dad who is currently occupying the bachelor pad is eager to move out so he can save on the mortgage payments he has been making for the condo since he was living there and is looking forward to living in the unit below us with my sister, and I�m eager to move back into my Bachelor pad. We are pretty much just waiting for our current tenant to find a new place and to move out.

It�s going to be a while though before that happens and I kind of need a change of venue and I need it yesterday. Derrick�s mojo depends on it. Fuck it�s time to go already. There�s other stuff I wanted to blog about but I�ll save it for another entry�