I have a confession to make. I never really liked Valentine�s Day. Although Valentine's Day is normally regarded as a day for couples, it seems like the day is heavily biased towards females. Though I spent most of my life as a single bachelor type, when I was actually in relationships, there was always some sort of pressure to do something "special" that day. With some of the pickier, high-maintenence people I was with in particular, there was always the risk that whatever I came up with was not quite good enough. Or even worse sometimes the person you are with goes the extra mile on your gift, making you feel guilty at the paltry attempt at your own gift selection for her. That is a rarity though because the holiday seems biased towards the expectation of the male to please the female on this so-called holiday.

Of course being single doesn't really help much in this holiday either because the pressure to come up with a thoughtful gift gets replaced with loneliness. You can be single, happy and just cruising though life then BAM! V-day comes up and suddenly you are reminded that you get to spend yet another holiday alone and that maybe scrambling for that last minute v-day present isn't such a bad thing if you have someone to share the holiday with and that someone you care about happy.

The weird part is that 02/14 also happens to be the anniversary of when I returned to work back in 2005 from an almost 1 year layoff. I talked a bit about it on my last V-Day entry. That period of time during the layoff was kind of a low point for me, because not only was I lonely, but I was also economically disadvantaged and I had to make the tough choice of giving up the downtown bachelor pad and going back home to live with my family. It was just so many things coming at me at one time.

This is not to say that things are just so bright and shiny for me nowadays, but having a full time job does keep me busy enough so I don�t have the time or the energy to excessively dwell on how lonely my life has become. It also helps enable me to keep going with school. Although there are times when I feel weary and almost overwhelmed by how busy my life has become with both work and school, part of me is grateful that I have the opportunity to take my life and move it in a certain direction. There are times when I feel tired, there are times when I feel lonely and there are times when I feel totally depressed, but I take some weird comfort in the fact that I�m going somewhere in my life.

For those of you that do have someone special this Valentine�s day, have a great one. Remember, it�s not so much about the gifts and the flowers and night out to dinner and all that, it�s more about being someone that you care about. I think that night would be a good time to let your significant other know how much you do love and care about that person, not just in words but in action.

For those of you who are lonely this Valentine�s don�t feel so bad because even though you are lonely, you are never truly alone, because there are people out there like me who know what you are going though because I�m going thorough exactly the same thing. Just hang in there and I promise to do the same and maybe, just maybe the next Valentine �s Day won�t suck so damn fucking much.

Anyway, I�ve babbled on long enough. Until next time...