I guess it's time to put all this review buiseness behind me but before I do that I thought I'd include Mr. Gumphood's response to my rebuttal and my final toughts on the subject. He gave the OK to post his last email to me regarding this so here it is in it's entirety:

Okay,

Here is the deal. I will bullet point because I have wrote this twice and want to die.

1) When I said I read most of your diary thats about 100 entries. Reviewers typically read 15 to 20 entries. I don't think thats fair so i read more of them. I didn't read everyone, but I think I got a readd good feel for your diary.

2) Taking things out of context. Maybe I did and I am sorry. I am even more sorry that the entry post wrong in the first place. I feel really abd about that.

3) I have talked to a couple people cause I wanted to see if i was being too hard. They read your diary, and the results were mixed. Two were offeneded. My guy friend thought that you might be being funny in times, which I thought might be true too. I guess that your style is diffrent and thats part of what will confuse the reader. The tone is not clear.

4) Okay so the bullet point is out. I think that what I meant by your "big show" is that you talk about sex in a serious funny and degrading way without really changing the tone of the way you right. In your profile you are a "cuni linguist" then you are a "sensitive guy who cherishes sex" and then you talk about "girls being objects". I don't know how you feel about that topic.

5) Entries like the lyrics to a song like "She fucken hates me" is something I have issues with. This is your diary not Pubble of Mudd's. If you want to say how that song makes you feel then do it, but don't put up their lyrics in your diary. If i want to I will listen to the song. That loses you points in my book.

6) Same goes for the Fight Club Hakui. I loved that movie to. But tell me if you feel like that, don't just put in the hakui. Thats not an entry, thats not even a statement.

7) Mojo. Your diary entry in response to my entry was really good. It show clear thought out responses, that were both emotional and logical. I liked it alot. Think you made really good points. Its okay to get emotional. That helps you diary. Keep that up

8) If the diary is your lockerroom buddy, your "id" then thats great. Its your diary and you can write whatever you want. In fact, you should write what ever you want.

My job as a reviewer is to tell the public what they are reading. Thus, when you put up for review your diary, it ceases to become what you want to write, but rather what I want to read. I am here to tell people what they are going to read, and I didn't think your diary had mainstream apeal. I think that some people would really enjoy it. I think that you should still enjoy it. But I don't think that alot of people will enjoy it.

9) Also I think that you are capable of writing better. You made such a wonderful layout, that if you just take the time and write really good entries like the last one you wrote then you will be able to have a great diary.

10) If you want to write like 20 more entires and then submit it for a rereview, just contact me and i will be happy to repost your diary based on the newest entries. But I also might discourge this because I think you enjoy your diary and I don't think that I am the ending statement on its validity. What I am saying is don't change for me. If how you write is how you are, then by all means keep writing. I just felt that from some of your better entires that you can be better, deeper, and mosty just more real to both yourself and your readers.

11) Big Show -- the last thing I will say. I feel that you put up a front in your diary of seeming cool and in control, and then in the next entry you talk about being sensitve and caring. Now that doesn't make sense. because in one entry you aren't saying that I was trying to act all tough and sexy, you are saying that you ARE all tough and sexy. Then you are like...I am emoitional and tender. Then in the next entry its back to being rough and tough. The big show refers to me not being able to beleive both. This frustrated me because I don't know who you are. You explained it better in your last entry. I think that you are more sensitve than how you portray yourself. Then I read your "about me" and its all, I'm super Joe cool. I ask that for a good diary, tell us who you are, honestly. You did a few times, but not enough for me to say that this was a good diary. Check out Angelgirl76 diary. This is a girl who goes through life being beaten down, and yet remains optimistic. Its a really beleiveable diary that has the same tone the whole way through.

I hope I helped. Again, for a rereview or more questions or comments email me. I won't repsond this long again, but I will answer and questions. Okay?

In closing man, I am sorry about the mispost, and I think you can give us more, and your template is the best I have seen (only perfect score I think). Stay in touch if you want.

~Mr. Gumphood

...and here is my response to the above e-mail:

Mr. Gumphood,

I have to admit it was quite a hit to the ego to receive such a negative review, but after seeing the review in its entirety and all your subsequent comments at least I see a clearer justification of your stance. This is your opinion and although I may not be in complete accordance with that opinion, you are certainly entitled to it. Most of all you have raised many good points that I have and will continue think about, evaluate and re-evaluate my style of writing. Things like the posting of lyrics and quotes for instance, perhaps I _should_ include my personal, emotional reaction to them. It actually would make a lot more sense to a casual reader who has stumbled upon my diary. As for the mistake it seems like a very honest one, one that you have corrected so I see no harm in that. Your apology is definitely accepted in that respect.

Perhaps some time in the future I may request another review just to see how my writing has evolved since the time of this review, but that�s �the future�. As for now I will probably seek opinions from different sources. I will also take everything you have said both negative and positive at face value and try to use it constructively. Since this email is not a public replay, with your permission I would like to post this correspondence in my diary just so that I can wrap this chapter up and move on. Thank you for being so in-depth with your final review and your replies. Not to say that you would have, but you could have just as easily ignored my responses. If anything it has restored my faith in your integrity as a reviewer despite our differing opinions and in my eyes it lends great credibility to the opinions you have and will put forth in your reviews.

-Derrick

There were of course various correspondences in between but I think this captures the gist of it all. I'll definitly seek other opinions, who knows I may fare better than my most recent one. We shall see...

It looks like Mr. Gumphood (sorry I don't have a more familiar name) went back and tied up the loose ends on my review. Here's the revised version:

I plan on drinking to much to kill the awkwardness of the situation

CONTENT: This is the diary of a young adult male. I read most of the entries, but couldn�t do the whole thing. A lot of the entries are in Weblog style so instead of directly linking pages, I will quote him.

I will start with the bad. The bad is that you lack constant substance in your story. You talk primarily about sex and how sex matter to you and how orgasms effect you. Example:

�Naturally I had a really difficult time going to sleep bacause though I was tired I was still a little horny since I didn't cum. I lost my erection a little because the pumping away I did when I got her to cum. It probably wouldn't have taken much to bring my cock back to life though.�

This does not come off well in your diary. You come off as being conceited and arrogant at times, but then suddenly insecure and weak. I feel like it�s a big show. You say things like this:

Anyhow, I don't know what's up with women nowadays. I'm going to make it a point, at least for now, to stop trying to figure them out. Sometimes I'm not even sure if they know what they want themselves. Oh well...

Yeah, what�s up with women. I�m a guy and I am offended. That was an entire entry.

I always include the good too. The good is that in some entries you do seem to break through a little, in your own way. This diary needs to have more honest moment like this one:

Something happened this evening that made my world a little less lonely. I discovered that my younger sister has been reading my journal. In a way I'm glad someone so close to me has had access to my innermost thoughts. Well OK I may be a little embarassed because now my sister knows how much of a horndog I am.

If you can find more honesty and a voice that seems less put on then your diary has a chance. Maybe this is really you and these are the things you care about, but I just found them mostly offensive, fake, and at times almost like a defense mechanism. I think at your age that you should take your feelings more seriously and look beyond sex.

Content Score: 7/40

LAYOUT You have an awesome layout, one that I am jealous of. Tons of extras; easy navigation. Your design is great. The design page is fantastic. You really nailed your design, and I feel it even reflects the content. I would say that your ability to design is not incredulous in the least. You should look into doing designs for others. This diary is worth looking at for that alone. I love the picture section as well.

Layout Score:20/20

EMOTIONS Look. You best entry is 100 things. You are honest, emotional and clear in this section. I even feel that you talk about sex in a nice way, a non-offensive way. If you can write like this, then you really can improve the whole diary.

But normally I saw entries like this one:

if a vehicle travels north at 68 mph and another vehicle is travelling south on the same road on the opposite lane at 69 mph and there is a wind coming from the northeast at 14 mph, how long will it take until i have sex? why are you looking at me like that? ok i admit it, i'm f****g horny! is that a crime? if it is just f*****g arrest me. be sure to use handcuffs... ;)

If this is what you want people to know about you then that�s fine, but I don�t think this is who you really are. I think there is more depth and width to you. You quote diaries you like in your diary, so I have to think that you connect with these writers. Are quotes above really what you wanting people to think about you? Is this what they should read to know things about you?

Emotions Score: 3/20

EXTRAS: You have a lot. I appreciate that. They all work too for an added bonus. This is a good feature. I like everything around the content.

Extras Score: 8/10

LINK: Yep, the link is there, and it works fine.

Link Score: 5/5

CONTACT: Everything but the Guestmap. Need one of those for full points.

Contact Score: 4/5

TOTAL SCORE: Re-evaluate what you want to display to people. It�s okay to have a few entries about sex. I just feel like you think that�s what people want to read about. Who are you? Who are these people in your life? I read almost all of the entries, and I was still at a loss at the end at what you were trying to display.

47/100

Reviewed by Gumphood

http://sweetreviews.diaryland.com/liquidmojo.html

Although the score did not change at all, I do appreciate the elaboration on certain points, like discovering my sister was reading my diary, that was a golden moment for me and he saw that. I'm kind of pissed that my demeanor towards sex have greatly overshadowed the finer moments of my diary in his opinion. Then again these things are very subjective.

Honestly I think he may have copied and pasted an older draft of the review instead of the final version of it and just realized it recently, happens to the best of us I guess, or maybe he has read and taken to heart what I written in my rebuttal.

Either way, I wish he would have scored the content and emotional sections a little more objectively like maybe finding a ratio of good to bad entries. I mean even in my outwardly sexual entries I'm displaying some type of emotion, angst, frustration, anger, lust, bewilderment or whatever. Does negative emotions mean a lower score? I characterize lack of emotion as an almost robotic recording of mundane events and the score he gave me would suggest that I am almost completely unemotional in my diary. I think that's hardly true, but then again that is my opinion against his.

As for content I suppose that too is purely subjective, I understand a person totally not being able to relate to my entries and subsequently not being able to give a good score on it, but there were parts that he was able to relate to and appreciate alike the '100 things' entry or the 'seredipity' one with my sister. But I guess the "offensive" stuff in my diary made a greater overwheming impression and anything else enough to greatly and adversely affect my score. =/

I did get a perfect score on the layout. I guess those web design classes I've taken paid off in this respect. I worked hard on this layout and he noticed. Considering how brutally critical he judged the other aspects of my diary I'll have to take this part as a compliment. He liked the picture section and the extras too. I guess it's not a total bust, but it's pretty damn close to it. =(

Anyway since he did go back and tie up the loose ends and revised my review to incluse the full contents I will have to retract my previous statement about his intergity as a reviewer. I guess I was being a tad bit emotional there. ;)

I finally got my review from the sweetreviews site, reviewed by none other than Gumphood, the only male reviewer on thier staff. I've seen his other reviews, for the most part he has given some really good praise to some of the diaries he reviewed prior to mine, so I was caught a little off guard by his negative but honest review of my diary. I do appreciate the constructive criticism he has spilled forth. I guess it would be best of I let his words speak for themselves:

liquid-mojo

I plan on drinking to much to kill the awkwardness of the situation

CONTENT: This is the diary of a young adult male. I read most of the entries, but couldn�t do the whole thing. A lot of the entries are in Weblog style so instead of directly linking pages, I will quote him.

I will start with the bad. The bad is that you lack constant substance in your story. You talk primarily about sex and how sex matter to you and how orgasms effect you. Example:

�Naturally I had a really difficult time going to sleep bacause though I was tired I was still a little horny since I didn't cum. I lost my erection a little because the pumping away I did when I got her to cum. It probably wouldn't have taken much to bring my cock back to life though.�

This does not come off well in your diary. You come off as being conceited and arrogant at times, but then suddenly insecure and weak. I feel like it�s a big show. You say things like this:

Anyhow, I don't know what's up with women nowadays. I'm going to make it a point, at least for now, to stop trying to figure them out. Sometimes I'm not even sure if they know what they want themselves. Oh well...

Yeah, what�s up with women. I�m a guy and I am offended. That was an entire entry. Also this thing right here, this

100 things. You are honest, emotional and clear in this section. I even feel that you talk about sex in a nice way, a non-offensive way. If you can write like this, then you really can improve the whole diary.

But normally I saw entries like this one:

if a vehicle travels north at 68 mph and another vehicle is travelling south on the same road on the opposite lane at 69 mph and there is a wind coming from the northeast at 14 mph, how long will it take until i have sex? why are you looking at me like that? ok i admit it, i'm f****g horny! is that a crime? if it is just f*****g arrest me. be sure to use handcuffs... ;)

If this is what you want people to know about you then that�s fine, but I don�t think this is who you really are. I think there is more depth and width to you. You quote diaries you like in your diary, so I have to think that you connect with these writers. Are quotes above really what you wanting people to think about you? Is this what they should read to know things about you?

Emotions Score: 3/20

EXTRAS: You have a lot. I appreciate that. They all work too for an added bonus. This is a good feature. I like everything around the content.

Extras Score: 8/10

LINK: Yep, the link is there, and it works fine.

Link Score: 5/5

CONTACT: Everything but the Guestmap. Need one of those for full points.

Contact Score: 4/5

TOTAL SCORE: Re-evaluate what you want to display to people. It�s okay to have a few entries about sex. I just feel like you think that�s what people want to read about. Who are you? Who are these people in your life? I read almost all of the entries, and I was still at a loss at the end at what you were trying to display.

47/100

Reviewed by Gumphood

http://sweetreviews.diaryland.com/liquidmojo.html

Naturally this negative review has caused me to think about and re-evaluate what my diary is and what it means to me. The review has also caused me to wonder about how I project myself to the world. Am I truly that offensive as to ilicit such a negative impression? Don't get me wrong, part of me does appreciate the honest critique, but another part of me feels that he added insult to injury by doing and neglecting to do certain things: Not reading though my entire journal for instance, somehow I feel that reading "most of my diary" may have given him an incomplete picture of me on which I will comment further. I'm also upset by him taking at least one of my quotes out of context, like that whole experience of me failing to orgasm, that was painful and humiliating experience for me as a man. Isolating that quote in that context makes it seem like getting an orgasm was all I cared about when in fact it's much larger and deeper than that, especially with that specific situation. Last but not least I think it was slightly unjust of him not to follow the standard scoring convention in which he had done meticulously well in his previous reviews.

Is my diary so distateful that he could not at least deliver me a proper and complete review? What happened to my 'layout' score and comments to the my layout? (which I would have taken very constructively as I am poised for a redesign of the layout) Wasn't the 'content' and 'emotions' score supposed to be separate? If so what happend to them and which score is which? What about the 'favorite quote'? Even if the reviewer did not have a favorite, any he should at least mention that fact, I've seen in done before by other reviwers. I would think that even a bad review like mine would at the very least have received that courtesy.

I'm sure that the reviewer has them there somewhere because I've done the math and the total of the scores he posted were only 19/100 and the total says 47/100. Where is the other 18 points coming from? Anyway I left both a thank you note and a link to my rebuttal in his guestbook along with a request to include the missing Layout review and comment. I really, really hope he at least goes back and corrects those mistakes if not for me then for the sake of his own integrity as a reviewer. Besides I'm very interested in what he has to say about my layout having viewed and reviewed so many other layouts in the past. Something positive this time, I would hope.

Anyway I really don't mean to lash out at the reviewer, it's just that I would have appreciated his critique better if he took the time, however distatesful to finish reading my entire diary. I am sure he would have found enough positive content akin to my 100 things entry. There are so many entries where I question myself and my place in this world and many have little or nothing to do with sex. It seems as if he skipped over this entire section of my diary. :(

There are several of his comments that I took to heart:

If this is what you want people to know about you then that�s fine, but I don�t think this is who you really are. I think there is more depth and width to you. You quote diaries you like in your diary, so I have to think that you connect with these writers. Are quotes above really what you wanting people to think about you? Is this what they should read to know things about you?

"Re-evaluate what you want to display to people. It�s okay to have a few entries about sex. I just feel like you think that�s what people want to read about. Who are you? Who are these people in your life? I read almost all of the entries, and I was still at a loss at the end at what you were trying to display."

As you can see my final score is pretty low. To make an analogy, if this were the score for my final exam I would likely have failed for the quarter and would have to retake the class again the next quarter. But to answer some of his hyptheicals, I guess the main reason for my diary thus far is to release myself emotionally. I don't really have a confidant in life that I can tell everything to, especially since my best friend died. I guess in a way my diary has inadvertantly become my "locker room buddy" whom I could reveal my sexual exploits, mis-exploits and generally express what my "Id" in all it's sexual frustration has bottled up inside me. I mean really who am I going to tell all this neanderthal sexual stuff to? My mom? My sister? I'm not sure about that move. I have to say that it is very much a part of me and it's not really a part that I am necessarily proud of but I am a man, but I do have testosterone and I need to release it one way or another. Unless I have offended anybody specifically I see no reason to apologize for that side of me.

Above he posed the hypothetical "is this how you want to portray yourself". My answer to this question is yes and no. Yes in that this is very much a part of me though my style of writing my come off crudely at times. No in that I am not necessarily proud for thinking or feeling in this way, but the feelings are there and like I said before they have a need to be expressed. If anything the confusing mish-mash of thoughts and feelings is a reflection of how I feel about myself and how I feel in general and the many layers of my "self". I really don't know who I am anymore, I have no idea where I want to go or what to do. That confusion is what gets translated into my diary.

I think he mentioned me coming off as "concieted and arrogant" and later "insecure and weak" and he had the feeling that it was "a big show". I think the "insecure and weak" part is probably the most accurate description of myself and it is one of the most difficult aspects of my personality to overcome. I think most people percieve me as being a "nice guy" which is all well and good until you consider that this "nice guy" always seems to finish last. I try my best to be confident to put my best foot forward but I guess the manner in which I have done so has made me appear like "concieted and arrogant" person. I guess in a way it is all just a big show, with the exception that moments I have lashed out in my diary I have also had the feeling of anger and frustration and I have somehow focused that angst into my writing.

I can see what he was getting at though, it is like my mindless talk of sex has somehow detracted from the more thoughtful and meaningful entries in my diary so much so, that it may actually cancel out whatever good impression the more serious entries may make, as it has seemed to have affected the most basic parts of his review. I guess for now this diary will continue being about me writing about myself for myself. I realize that this is also a public diary so I will try and be conscious about what I write because if I ultimately want to reach other people and touch thier lives in a positive way then I can't continue writing in the haphazardly blunt fashion that I have been accustomed to.

Again my sincerest thanks to Mr. Gumphood for his honest critique. I'm not really sure if he will have a chance to read my rebuttal to his review. It would be nice if he did if only to correct the basic scoring things he missed. I would respect him more as a reviewer even if his opinion of my diary itself is still negative. No matter though, he has called me on certain things, things that not everyone would be so bluntly honest with and has caused me to re-evaluate myself as a person and as a writer of an online diary. Perhaps someday I may submit a request for a re-review. According to Sweetreviews rules it has to be the same reviewer. I guess it's for the best. I shudder to think how much more critically (or empathically) a female reviewer might percieve this diary. I'll probably start submitting review requests on other review sites as well just to see if I can improve from this negative review. All in due time I guess... =/